RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A RAINY MORNING

No matter how beautiful of a woman you are, blue lipstick makes you look hideous.  Throw the damn tube out.

Seriously? Someone administer
CPR to this poor girl

I remember working at the library and women would lean over the desk to look at something I was showing them on my computer screen and their boobs would be just about falling out.  Ladies - be careful.  Half the population are other women and we really don't want to see your breasts.  Tacky.

Yuck

Same goes with butt cracks.  Men - PLEASE - wear suspenders, if necessary.  Ladies - same for you.  Tackier.

More people should know what NPR and PBS are and listen/watch them.  They are really missing out on something wonderful.

Sitting down and talking to an elderly person and really listening is like opening up a treasure chest.  They have so much to give and share and most are happy to do so.  You may see a tiny, wrinkled old lady or man in a wheelchair, but they still may feel and remember like the 20 year old they once were.  They are gifts.

Same with children and people who are younger than you.  Amazing what we can learn from each other - all ages, races, colors, religions and sexual orientation.  JUST LISTEN.

If you survived childhood bullying I applaud you.  I know you had a rough and horrible time. I pray it made you a stronger and more compassionate person, not a mean and cruel one (know both).

I read an article many, many years ago on women who do not have other women friends and why you shouldn't trust them.  I thought it was interesting, but a little silly.  As I grow older I began to understand what the writer was trying to say.  There are many exceptions, of course, but basically when I meet a person, male or female, I look at who they surround themselves with.  If they don't have a good network of friends, there is obviously a reason why.  And, if their friends are jerks - walk away

You are really not as fascinating as you think you are.  (Something I continue to learn, I am ashamed to say.)

Spitting in public is disgusting.  Women spitting in public is beyond disgusting.

Common sense is free, too

Which leads me to manners.  Learn 'em and use 'em.

Find your own spiritual path.  If it is within the church you grew up in, that's great.  Or maybe you need to find a different church.  Or, if like me, you walked away from it all and found your own path and truths that work for you, that's OK, too.  No matter what your spiritual life is, it will give you peace as you get older.

Walk away from bullshit.  Whether it be work, church, politics or even your family - you need and deserve to survive without drama and to follow your heart.  YOUR HEART - no one else's.  And, respect those who do just that.  You may not like the path they choose, but if it safe and not hurting them or anyone else, let them be.

A little kindness goes a long way.

Children are not sweet all of the time.   If your kid is being obnoxious in a public place, please get him/her the hell out of there and save the rest of us our sanity.

This is not cute

Laws are in place for a reason no matter how trivial you think they are.

Sunday Morning on CBS is one of the very best television programs ever.  Been around for close to 40 years and most people have no idea of what it is.  It's classy, informative, quirky and wonderful.

Audrey Hepburn was fabulous.  So was Cary Grant.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. , don't know what it means to me.  We need to respected each other more.

Listen to the trees, flowers, breeze.  See the birds and flowers.  Listen to the waters and the silence of the mountains.  You will be a far better person.

Dress nicer when you go out.  Whether it be to dinner, weddings, funerals, church or the store.
Americans are slobs (this written as I sit here in old yoga pants and a ripped sweat shirt, but I wouldn't dare wonder far from my house like this - maybe the mailbox).

First impressions are more important than you think (see above).

There is a lot to be said for the little black dress

The impeccable Ms. Hepburn wearing Chanel.
Can you get any classier?

If you have a front porch, sit on it.

Compliment other people.  Even if you don't know them.  See a person with a great outfit on? Tell them.  You'll make their day and you'll feel better, too.

Elvis Presley was one of the most gorgeous men who ever walked on this Earth.  And, he had a voice to match is beautiful face.  My grandmother loved him.  Me, too.

Smile more.

Picky eaters are irritating. I'm not talking about food allergies.  Grapefruit makes me gag.  But, try not to limit your palate.  Try it, you might like it!

Most of us have health issues of some sort, especially as we grow older.  Try not to talk about them very much.  Most people care and want to help, but they really don't want to hear about it all of the time.

Read.

Be grateful.  Be grateful.  Be grateful.

Dogs are the best creatures on this Earth.

GHOST OF A MARRIAGE PAST

I've blogged about my marriage and divorce before, so many specifics aren't necessary.  I was married in April, 1986 and divorced in December 1997.  My ex-husband, Bill, died in 2005.

Bill and I remained somewhat close after our divorce, especially the last couple of years.  Due to some bad circumstances in his life he wound up living in an apartment across the street from my house.  It is all good, though.  We both lived our lives, yet would have dinner together every month or so or just hang out and talk.

After Billy passed I felt his presence around me a lot.  Since he was a fabulous cook, it was usually in the kitchen!  There were times over the years that I would feel him next to me or actually feel him pat my shoulder, a gesture of endearment he made while we were married.  Many times I would reach up to my shoulder as if to touch his hand and say, "It's OK, Billy - I know you're here and I'm OK."  Sounds weird, but it's true.  It wasn't scary, but very comforting. Call his presence a spirit, a ghost, an angel or my guardian angel - it doesn't matter. I believe Bill will be with me until my time on Earth is up and it is a good feeling.

When I sold my house and moved to Georgia in 2010 I felt Billy's presence less and less.  I knew he was always with me, just did not feel him around as much.

Lately, though, he has been around more and more.  I don't actually feel him patting my shoulder or standing next to me, but he has been lingering in my thoughts quite a bit. And, even after almost 20 years of being single again, several relationships during this time, and 12 years after his death, I still think of Bill and what it could have been.  Divorce was inevitable if I wanted to survive, but it doesn't mean feelings weren't still there.

When I lived in Milwaukee I suffered from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  For many years I would go on a light anti-depressant in late fall and ween myself off in spring, with my doctor's approval.  Billy knew this, of course, and would do sweet things for me during those winter months while we were married - bring home budget bunches of flowers more often (he did bring them home all year around, but increased them in the winter), planned spring vacations, plan our gardens, etc.

One of the things we talked about during our marriage was our retirement years.  We both loved the South and took several trips to the southern states.  We joked and talked a lot about moving to the Chattanooga area, purchasing a small ranch home and having a beautiful yard full of flowers. Well, here I am living 90 miles from Chattanooga, in a ranch home and I tend a pretty garden.  So, I am living the dream we had, but without him.  At least without him as a living, breathing man!

When I moved to Georgia, I noticed that my SAD seemed to have stayed in  Wisconsin - I didn't notice it and assumed and hoped being in a warmer climate with a milder winter sent SAD on its way forever.  However, last year it reappeared, but so mildly I hardly gave it a thought.  But this year it seems to have come back pretty strongly.  Having a burst pipe, flooding and losing all of my hardwood floors in early December and living on a concrete slab for seven week probably didn't help keep a depression away very much either!  SAD is back.

I stay busy.  I hang out with my friends, volunteer at a dog rescue group, am part of other socially active groups, so it is not as if I am sitting around moping.  I keep going and am basically a pretty happy, healthy person.  I don't dwell on the past.  I enjoy my life, simple and quiet as it may be.  I am glad spring is right around the corner, though.  I am done with winter, even a mild Georgia winter, and I want this depression gone with it.

So, is Bill back because I am slightly depressed?  Does he know I need a little spiritual comfort in the form of a ghostly presence?  Or is he waiting for me to get out of my slump and open up and listen to my heart a little closer?  I have found when I tend to think a lot of a person in my life who has passed, that they are trying to tell me something or maybe I need to open my eyes and heart and listen to what the universe is trying to tell me.  Maybe Billy is nudging me because I am just not listening.

On the other hand, I could just be slightly crazy!

But, I don't think so.

Welcome back, Billy.  You know you are welcome anytime.  We both know the SAD will fade away, but keep on nudging me.  I'll figure it out sooner or later.  And, the next time I go shopping I think I'll purchase a budget bunch of flowers just for you.

April 23, 1986