Home

Home is where the heart is. For me, this simple, well-known phrase is very true.

When I was in my 20's I moved about every 2 years. It became of joke in my family. But, I moved to better locations, larger apartments. Looking back, I believe I was always searching for my "home."

My parents moved into the house I grew up in when I was five days old. They lived there for 23 years. After I moved out on my own I started having dreams of that house. They were all pretty similar. I would be floating through the house. Sometimes the new owners would be there, but they couldn't see me. I would float from room to room and watch the activities of the people who lived there. At the time, I couldn't figure these dreams out.

Within a few years after Bill and I married (Bill being my late, ex-husband) we bought a typical Milwaukee ranch house. I don't think you could find two more excited people then we were. We put our hearts and souls into that house. And, we cultivated a beautiful garden. Bill had stunning rose bushes. The dreams stopped. I had a home.

When we divorced, Bill bought me out of the house. I moved into an apartment for 2 years. I had a very nice apartment and it was only 2 blocks from Bill. So, I was close to my old home and to Bill, as we remained friends and an important part of each other's life.

After two years in my apartment, and a long set of circumstances, my friend (and old family friend) Ray came back into my life. He quickly took an assessment of my situation and said, "Julie Ann, you need to buy a house." Yikes! I had no money, yet he persisted. So, with Ray's encouragement, I started looking for a house. Any house as long as it had a roof over it. I found out about a non-profit group that helped first time home owners purchase houses. Since I was single and had never bought a house on my own, I qualified. I took a 3-week course and received a small grant to be used towards closing costs. I looked for houses. I looked at houses that were falling down, I looked at houses so small my furniture wouldn't fit in the rooms, I looked at houses that while structurally sound, needed a ton of work just to be inhabitable. Finally, I found my house. Built in 1888, it was in good enough shape to live in. Just about every major item eventually would need to be replaced, but I could move in and do it all slowly.

So, I bought my house. My dear friend Sally came to the closing with me and we worked our asses off those first two days setting up my kitchen and cleaning. But, before we did anything, Sally and I smudged the house. Using sage, water and salt, we went to every corner of the house, both inside and out, bottom to top, blessing my new home. Ray came over and we painted. Friends helped me move. My dear brother-in-law, Marty, made repairs. Over the years, if I tried to count all of the things Marty has done for me, I'd need a calculator! Shortly after I moved in I had a house warming party. My friend Scott, a minister, blessed my house in front of friends and family.

And so, I had a home.

And, over the years I have replaced just about everything - a little at a time. Furnance, air conditioning, hot water heater, bathroom, roof. I survived a flooded basement and major plumbing work. Every year I had a little bit of electrical work done as my home sorely lacked outlets. I had my trim painted. Marty tiled my bathroom floor and Bill installed my medicine cabinet and vanity. When Bill died he left me enough money to remodel my kitchen and put in all new windows. Every room was eventually repainted. The staircase banister was replaced. The woodwork on the 2nd floor was replaced and/or painted. Repairs have been made to the back screened-in porch. My foyer, after being torn up for 6+ years, was finally completed this spring. I thank and bless each and every friend and family member who helped me.

All along, this house was my home. From the minute I moved in I felt safe and secure here. It has protected me from the elements and been my haven from all storms - literally and figuratively. With every improvement I have made I have felt the house give a sigh of relief. "Ahhhh", it seems to say, "that feels good. I think at this rate I will be around another 118 years."

I believe this house welcomed me with open arms (or doors, so to speak). It welcomed my dogs. My friends and family feel welcome here. It is comfortable and it is loved. I think my house reflects all of this and it reflects my personality.

Once, when I was in my 20s, a co-worker told me I was a "nester." It took me years to understand what she meant. I make my nest, feather it well, care for it and in turn, it cares for me.

There have been times I've screamed it at my house when there have been problems with plumbing, electrical or a million other things. Sometimes I've spent sleepless nights wondering how I would pay for something. For 2 years I worked a part-time job, along with my full time job, just to have some extra money. But, it has always worked out one way or another. Now, that so much as been done, my house shines for me. Sally has always talked to her houses. I do, too. Despite everything over the last 7 years, I have always thanked it. I thank it for keeping me safe and sound.

I am certainly not the first to live here and I won't be the last. I hope when I move to another place this house is as welcoming and comfortable for the new owners as it has been for me. That won't happen for some years to come and in the meantime I will continue to care and nurture my home, as it does for me.

This spring, while on vacation in Georgia, I bought a plaque that reads, "I am so blessed." When my foyer was finally finished, the plaque was hung on one of the foyer walls so that it can be read by all who enter my home. And, it's true. I am so blessed.

Home is where my heart is.