I'm Turning Into My Parents!

Mom ( Geneva), me and my dad (Verlon), Christmas 1996

It's not a bad thing.  It actually makes me laugh sometimes when I find myself doing what my father did or, I swear, when my mother's voice comes out of my mouth!   I think the older we get the more we tend to "turn into" our parents to some extent.  Fortunately, in my case, it is mainly a good thing.  I had wonderful parents.

For years my sister, Linda, has told me I walk just like my mom.  I know this is true.  Being retired I find myself wanting to bake more often, which is something my mother enjoyed.  I find myself using her phrases or doing something the exact way she would have done it.  I am starting to have hip and knee issues like she did.  My mom had  tons of health issues, so I hope I didn't inherit any more!  I am also impatient like my mom. I hope I have a good dose of her tenderness. I am definitely a "softie" as both mom and dad were.

Walking the dog with my daddy, April 1958

I get my love of walking from my father as well as my love of dogs.  Also, my love of nature.  I wish I had more of his "stingy-ness" although my mom sometimes had a better sense for business/finances than my dad did.  I think I have pretty good common sense, like both my parents.  My dad was a very romantic guy and I sure take after him in that aspect, too.  Being retired and on a very fixed income, I am learning their frugality.  Wish I would have learned it sooner! 

Now that I have a garage I find myself either pulling in too far or not far enough.  My grandpa had a rope tied from the rafters of his garage with a fishing "bobber" attached to the  end of it.  When the bobber hit his windshield he knew that is where he should stop the car.  Oh - I want grandpa's rope!  I chuckle every time I pull into the garage and think about it.  Someday I will figure out how to do it!  I can be bull headed like my grandma, too.  Not something I care to admit, and not as bad as my sisters (especially one in particular!).  My grandparents loved to entertain and enjoyed people, something I do, too.  My grandma also loved to feed people her great cooking.  While I am not quite as good of a cook as she was, when I do bake or make a large batch of something, I enjoy sharing it with my neighbors. 

We are all a blend of who not only "made" us genetically, but who raised us.  It's our choice to keep the good and discard the bad, if we can.  Heredity health problems or the color of our eyes we can't easily change, but mannerisms, actions and thoughts we can.  My friend David grew up in a divorced family.  His father was a lousy dad, which had a profound affect on David both as a child and as an adult.  David continually battles his lack of self confidence and self worth.  Yet David is a truly wonderful parent to his daughter.  When I asked him about this he said, "Every time I wonder about how to do something or handle a situation with my daughter I think about what my father would have done and do the opposite."  It seems to have worked.  David has changed his family dynamics in a very positive way.  His daughter, who will be going to college soon, is a very sweet, thoughtful and self confident young woman.

I come from a long line of strong women and have called on their strength to help me through the bad times as well as the good.  I also come from a long line of gentle and tender men, strong in their own right, but able to show love.  For this, I am thankful.

So, turning into my parents can be a good thing.  Well . . .  maybe!