A Stole for Lori

I first met Lori in the early 1990s while we were both attending Unitarian Universalist Church-West in Brookfield, WI. I started a Women's Spirituality Group, Lori joined and we became friends. A few years later, Lori and Sharon (another Church Lady) facilitated a 13-week curriculum for women entitled Rise Up and Call Her Name. It is from this group that the "Church Ladies "officially " began.

Almost from the start I think we all realized Lori had Unitarian Universalist minister potential. Our group presented several church services over the years, which were very well received and which Lori had a huge role in organizing. And, there was something in Lori that just made us feel she had the calling. But, life can sometimes get in the way of thoughts and suggestions. Lori and her husband had three young children and were busy people. Also, as the Brookfield church grew, a group left the church and started Lake Country UU Church, about 40 miles to the west. Lori and her husband are charter members and became active is developing this successful church.

Time moves on, kids get older and thoughts/yearnings turn into solid ideas and actions. A few years ago, Lori announced that she had been accepted in the Chicago Theological Seminary. This program better suited her schedule and needs better Meadville Lombard , the UU theological seminary in Chicago. She was able to take classes at Meadville and CTS would accept her credits. After three years of studies and a one year internship at a UU church, Lori could become a UU minister.

To the Church Ladies this was a no-brainer. We knew Lori would make a fabulous UU minister and while the seminary would be challenging, we know she could do it. And, she did. When it came time for an internship, Lori landed Olympia Brown UU Church in Racine, WI with one of the best ministers UU has to offer.

Around this time, the Church Ladies began to think of what we could do for Lori as a "congratulations" for all of her hard work and dedication. We decided on a clerical stole. I contacted and worked with Jenna, from Cotton Patch Designs, out of Texas. This company normally works with Christian ministers, and I think Jenna was a little curious about designing a UU stole, especially one as specific as we wanted. But Jenna listened to what we wanted and designed a beautiful stole. Jenna was great to work with. She is an artist!

Yet, Lori had one more hurdle. The last part of the UU ministerial program is a grueling panel interview, which included Lori giving a sermon, at the UU headquarters in Boston, MA. Lori and her husband flew east. Again, we had no doubt. And, Lori passed with flying colors. She will be officially ordained as a UU minister this spring.

At our Church Lady gathering on Halloween, we presented Lori with her stole. Represented on it are the Church Ladies (circle of women) Unitarian Universalism (flaming chalice), earth, air, fire and water (ground/trees, swirls, stars and river). Inside is a quote from one of Lori's favorites, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. The back has the pink ribbon of a breast cancer survivor along with the Chinese symbols for strength and hope. Also, stitched inside is all of our names. You may click on the pictures for a more detailed view - it's worth it!

It is a beautiful stole, but not as beautiful as Lori.

Visit to the Cemetery

On Sunday, after I had been home for a while, I decided to drive over to The Patched Works to purchase backing material for my Jars Aplenty project. Well, they were closed for the holiday weekend. I knew this, but forgot. However, I wasn't the only goofball as 2 other cars drove into the parking lot as I was pulling out. Two other disappointed women!

Since I was sort of on the right side of town I decided to visit the cemetery, Wisconsin Memorial Park. I hadn't been there since my father died in November and I knew the headstone for both my parents was now in place and that one of us girls should check it out and make sure all was in order. Plus, it was time I went.

There is something about cemeteries I kind of like. Peaceful, obviously, but to me they are calming, too.

My Mom died in 2003 and was cremated. My father also wanted to be cremated and their wish was to have their ashes mingled and then to be buried together. We kept Mom's ashes in Georgia at my sister's house until Dad died and then followed their wishes. Their headstone was picked out by Dad after Mom's death. It is really pretty - with trees and mountains. It is easy to tell that Dad picked it out.

It was weird, though, seeing both their names on the headstone. There was a finality to it. They are in the family plot, next to my grandparents and my uncle and aunt, as well as other family members. My ex-husband, Bill, is buried there, with my family, as well.

It was a lovey day out and they are all right under a large oak tree. I sat down and cried a bit. I really miss my parents. I also had a good talk with all of them, asking for their strength, love and guidance. I have been feeling like I am approaching a crossroads in my life. There are decisions coming up that I need to make that will affect the rest of my life. I needed to be grounded by them. I needed the stillness and beauty of the cemetery. It felt good. It felt right. I didn't get any immediate responses from them (smile), but I know I will.

I think I will go back several more times before the snow falls this year. I feel the strength and solidarity of them surrounding me. It's a good feeling.

Walking with the Dogs

This week I've been walking the "girls" very early each morning - around 6:15am. Notice I use the word "with" the dogs, not "taking" them for a walk! Big difference.

We walk each other actually. They slow me down while taking lingering sniffs and I drag them along with the sniffs become obsessive.

This morning was lovely. During the pre-dawn hour, a sliver of a moon hung in the blue sky surrounded by huge, dark clouds. Since I love the moon in all of her phases, this glimpse was breathtaking.

The birds are very active this time of day. Even though we walk very early in the morning, the robins are singing their little hearts out. I like to think one joins us, flying from tree to tree and serenading us as we walk. However, it is more than likely many robins saying "Good Morning!" to each other. Other birds join the chorus - the chirp of the little sparrow, the whistling of the cardinals, the cries of the gulls. Every morning has the opportunity to turn in to a major bird concert!

I'm by nature a morning person. I love these walks as much as Gracie and Lucy Lou do. It gives my day a boost of inner peace and contentment. It is my time to spend with God, with nature. It is my prayer.

Sniffs and all.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the Serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference

Seems there is a dispute about who originally wrote this very simple, very powerful prayer which you can read the article by clicking on the link at the bottom of this post.

However, after a friend sent me the article, it got me thinking. Not about the dispute. That doesn't matter to me. But, about how important those 27 little words are to me.

Having sat through dozens of 12-step meetings where this prayer has been discussed in detail, picked apart and analyzed, it is amazing to me how important and meaningful each line of the prayer is to me and to others, as well. In my opinion, it is far and above any other prayer ever written and/or used today. It is short. It is simple. It is easy to remember. And, if used with all sincerity, it works.

You might remember by post of a couple of months ago when I wrote about prayer in my life. Seems I had a mind dump at the time and completely forgot about the Serenity Prayer. Duh. So, now I will back track and pick it apart myself, as I understand it. Here goes:

God grant me the serenity

Who doesn't want serenity? At some point in time we all crave it, want it and wonder where it is in our life. However, in order to truly find serenity, I must deal with all that is going on around me and find that right "place" in my mind and heart to be serene. Not as easy as it sounds. Yet, it can be found. On more and more occasions I find it - usually in nature and it other places, too. And, if I use this prayer as I should, I find it more and more.

To accept the things I cannot change

Ok - this is soooo hard. I'm a controlling person. Not a control freak, but I do have issues with control. So for me to say, "OK - this is what is happening. I can't alter what is going on so I will step back, let it go is like pulling all of my teeth. Since I tend to believe I am always right (until proven otherwise, which happens a lot!), I want things to go my way. Oh, acceptance - - - how difficult you are! Yet, this prayer, as a whole, helps me to find that acceptance.

The courage to change the things I can

I'm don't believe this means the type of courage it takes to run into a burning building to save a child. I'm believe these words are more personal. I believe I can basically only change myself. Yes, I can change my curtains, change my residence, change my job, but I can't change other people (as much as I would like to). To change myself take courage. To right a wrong I did or a flaw within me takes courage. I use to think I was an "afraidy cat." Afraid of all kinds of things. Once, while talking my friend, Sally, I told her this. She stared at me with a stunned look on her face. She then said, "Girl, you have supported yourself all your life. You have cleaned up your act when you stopped drinking, got out of an unhappy marriage, bought a 116 year old house, travel like crazy when you can and basically take care of yourself very well. Look at all you have done. You can't be "afraid" and do all that." That was a verbal slap upside the head. She was right. It took courage for me to realize that I wasn't afraid to take risks, to take leaps of faith. It all takes courage.

And the wisdom to know the difference

Aha! This is the kicker. The wisdom to know the difference. This is the hardest. To recognize what battles to fight, what steps to take, what decisions to make - whoosh! To know when to hang in there and when to walk away - it's hard! The courage to accept or to accept the courage to act? But, slowly, very slowly, by using this prayer the answers, the wisdom, will always come, if I am listening

I have seen and heard many variations of this prayer. There all the same - the meaning and intent is always the same. I even have a Pagan version written down some place. But it really doesn't matter if the words vary a little. If used, it works. At least for me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/11/us/11prayer.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin