HI HO, HI HO - IT'S BACK TO WORK I GO!

Yup.  After not working for 11 months, I now have a fantastic part time job!

I knew when I retired that I would need to work part time for a few  years.  First, to build up my liquid cash reserves and have money to travel and secondly to get me out of the house and around people.  However, I didn't think it would be so long.

It's not like I haven't enjoyed my retirement.  I have.  And, it would be great not to need this job.  But, I do need it on so many different levels besides what I mentioned above.

It took longer to get a job because I needed the time to heal from the turmoil of 2010.  Emotionally, I wasn't ready to work, although the last couple of months my bank account was starting to look scary. 

I had applied back in February with Kelly Temp Services.  Although I did extremely well on both the interview and skill tests, the only two jobs offered me were long term and a long way from my house - equivalent to at least an hour drive to and from work.  No thank you.  This spring I started applying to local collages.  Nada.  But, I had a list of websites I checked weekly and bi-weekly and planned to keep trying.  I was getting a little concerned, though.  I needed a part time job.

I had applied on and off to be a Library Assistant with the Sequoyah Regional Library System, which serves three counties here in Georgia - Cherokee, Pickins and Gilmore.  Never got called for an interview.  Then, in February they experienced huge budget cuts and lay offs.  Oh, well . . .

I still checked out the library website for job openings.  And, in late May they had openings for both a Research Assistant and a Library Assistant at a library in my area.  I applied for both.  I was called to interview for the Research Assistant on Monday, interviewed on Tuesday and was offered the job on Friday!  Yippee!

It is the perfect job for me.  I work 16-17 hours a week, the pay is more than minimum wage, I work only every 4th Saturday, I never work later than 6pm and I GET TO WORK IN A LIBRARY!  I'm learning so much, too.  The people I work with are great and I am working with the public, which is fun.  Yes, parts of my job are rather tedious, but overall it is a perfect fit.  If I wasn't in a library I would be whistling while I work! 

I got my first paycheck.  hehehehehe  It was only for 27 hours, but I was as thrilled as if I made my first million!  LOL  Another thing I find so rewarding is seeing so many books come across my path that I have read.  And, I am starting a list of books/authors I want to read.  Plus, learning the ins and outs of helping people do research is very interesting. 

I am so fortunate!  I'm happy and so is my bank account.  Now, I better start researching English gardens, or maybe Tuscany or possibly Paris.  Where's my passport?

Time to Move On

The other night while ice bound and bored,  I started searching for people on Facebook and came across a man I dated briefly a few years ago. 

We dated at a time when Phil had pushed me away and encouraged me to move on.  I met Ken.  Ken is a great guy and we hit it off right away.  I enjoyed his company and things moved fast.  But, there was always Phil lurking in my background.  To summarize, Phil decided he wanted me after all, I treated Ken terribly and went off with Phil.  And, when I say I treated Ken terribly, I truly did.  And, I have always, always regretted what I did to him.

Fast forward.  Ken met someone.  He got married, thought things were great, but is now going through a divorce after only a couple years of marriage.  Phil is dead and I have learned more about him than I really cared to learn.  I'm still grieving and licking my wounds.  I retired and moved to Georgia.  The past 8 months have been hard for me.  I have made friends in my new community, but haven't gotten out as much as I should/could have.  It's been a self-imposed hibernation.  But, I am starting to wake up.  And, it hasn't been all bad.  I did what I needed to do.

So, I messaged Ken and waited, hoped for a reply.  Let me say I really mistreated this man and I figured he would either not respond to me or give me a piece of his mind.  But, he did respond and was very gracious and kind.  More so than I deserve.  He even gave me his email and phone number.  And, I called.

His divorce hurt him.  Sounds like they had a great marriage while it lasted and the divorce came out of the blue.  He was deeply hurt.  Yet, he seemed very concerned about me, what I have been through and how I was coping.    We talked about our families, our lives and traveling.  We talked about our dogs, relationships and coping.  It was good talking to him.  He always had a kindness and a gentleness about him that made me feel so very comfortable.  For a minute, for a second I thought . . .

But, he had to run.  He was going on a date with a woman he really likes.  And, in all truthfulness, I am not ready to date.  Even with the time and distance between us, it wasn't meant to be.  I wish him well, though.  Of all people, Ken deserves happiness.  So, do I.  And, we won't find it together.  But, maybe we can be friends.  Maybe our mutual broken hearts will help heal each other.  And, maybe I need to get out more rather than spend all my evenings at home with the dogs.

I have been thinking of Phil - who I still cry over - a lot lately.  It's funny how the grieving process works, sometimes I hardly think of him and other times it seems he is all I think about.  And with thinking of Ken, too - who is someone that probably should have been -  brought me to this verse from a poem by William Wordsworth  It's bittersweet, but right now so am I.  And, it is time for me to move on.

What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now for ever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind...

House For Sale

My house if officially on the market. The first weekend (last weekend) I have 5 showings! That was exciting. Unfortunately, no offers. I had a showing last night and the couple like it so much they are returning tonight to see it one more time. No other scheduled showings for the weekend.

Sigh.

Keeping a house clean 24/7 is harder than I thought. it has made me realize just how much I leave laying round and I am a very neat and tidy person. I can't imagine how people with children do it when trying to sell a home. I did drag out my quilting things long enough to cut and sew binding and machine sew it to the top a quilt so I can start the hand stitching process.

And, since I don't have any showings this weekend I plan to work once again on my Underground Railroad quilt. I have 1 1/2 blocks left to go and then I can start the lattice and posts. Every other quilting project is on hold.

Please, please someone buy my house. I need to start quilting again!

A Few Words on Quilting - or My Lack of It.

I haven't quilted in weeks. Packing and organizing have consumed me (well, a couple of other issues, too, but I digress).

I have packed up a lot of my quilting paraphernalia. Six huge boxes. This includes material and patterns for future quilts and completed quits and well as other miscellaneous quilting items. I kept out several kits and projects, both on-going and waiting to complete.

I currently have 4 quilts that need to be bound and I will get 2 more back from the quilter tomorrow. So, hopefully this weekend I can get a few of them machine bound.

Jeannie's BOM quilt is still in progress as is my Underground Railroad quilt. Hopefully, within the next few weeks the Underground Railroad quilt will be sent to the quilters. My dreams of starting the Wisconsin Barn quilt that Jen is offering will probably wait until after I retire. Sigh. I really wanted to start it, but I have my nephew's Double Irish Chain quilt to start ASAP (Ha - that's funny!)

In the midst of this I have to keep my house neat and tidy for possible showings. Ha! That's funny, too!

I kept out my two rolling carts full of scraps and fat quarters for Jeannie's BOM and other small projects. The carts can be tucked into a small closet each night. Both my sewing baskets are still out, but one really should be packed up as it is not used that often. All of the rulers are hang nicely from hooks in a closet.

I've been quilting less than 2 years! Where did all of this come from?

Of all of the things I have packed, I miss my quilting stuff the most. I like having it spread all over the house. I like finding tiny pieces of snipped fabric. I like my threads on the floor. Am I nuts? I crave my rotary cutter and miss the hum of the sewing machine.

Next week I start quilting again!

Getting Ready for Retirement

Funny things start to happen when you tell people you are going to retire.

First, I went to a work offered retirement seminar last November. It was great - well organized and very informative. I was given lots of brochures and pamphlets to read, which I have done. There are just over 200 of us City workers that fall into a group that are eligible to retire if we use the incentives they are offering. Truthfully, we would be crazy not to grab the deal and run, which is exactly what I am doing! However, all at once I started to receive mail from the Employees Retirement System - pension estimators, benefit plans, etc. Yikes! This is really going to happen!

Co-workers approch me. "Hey," they say, "I hear you're retiring!" Or, "How much longer do you have?" Or "What will you be doing once you go?" This is all fun stuff, although my immediate co-workers must be getting tired of hearing my answers all of the time. Several co-workers insist on getting together after work as my "time" approaches. I'm looking forward to that!

The most asked question is, "How many more days?" Well, as of today I have 5 months and 14 days. Exact days? I'm not sure. Well under 100. I got vacation time to use and it will all be spent house hunting in Georgia and moving down there.

This is all good stuff. Fun stuff. I thought it would be much different, but recently life has a way of kicking me in the butt and directing me down paths I really didn't want to go. But, it is all good (at least that is what I am telling myself over and over). It is all a learning experience. It is a new path, a new part of my life - so very different than what I am use to.

If I survive what I am going through now, if I survive selling my house, buying a new home and a move to a whole new state without losing my mind, if I make it to August 23, 2010 - a whole new life will begin.

Bring it on!

Packing it Up!

Last week my wonderful sister, Suzanne, flew up and we spent 3 1/2 days packing and organizing my basement as well as other areas in preparation for the sale of my house.

Now, I am not a wuss and I can pack, but I was stuck in a rut and needed Suzanne to give me that swift kick in the butt to get going. She is good at that!

We got a lot accomplished and 72 boxes and bins are sealed, neatly labeled and ready to go. And, more boxes to pack. SEVENTY-TWO with more to come. Jeez - where did all this stuff come from? And, now I have 4 large boxes in my dining room full of quilts and quilt stuff. More of that, too. This doesn't include every day things that I will need until my house actually sells like pots and pans, dishes, etc.

Every night more "stuff" gets sorted through and packed or put into boxes for Goodwill. Friends and family are welcome to things they admired and would like for their own so a lot is leaving via the front door. My desk and curio cabinet are claimed and waiting to be moved (please come get them). I would much rather give things to friends and family than sell them on Craig's List. This way people will have a remembrance of me and something they like. Pictures/art work are bubble wrapped and not much is left on the walls. My home is becoming more and more depersonalized. Sigh.

I have contacted a couple of realtor's and one will be chosen this weekend. My house will be ready in a couple of weeks. I have a cleaning service coming in to do a heavy spring cleaning before any perspective buyers come in to view it. I am keeping my nephew busy with fixing broken light switches, moving things around and general "PLEASE COME OVER AND HELP ME DO XXXXX"

Yup. This is all happening. I am retiring and moving to Georgia. The Canton area of Georgia, close to the Blue Ridge and within a quick drive from Suzanne and my nephews.

It is exciting, fun and stressful.

And, I am scared to death!

Almost Over, New Beginnings

My wonderful brother-in-law, Marlon, all tuckered out after playing Santa

Another holiday season comes to a close. If you are like me this year, it is a relief! That isn't to say that I didn't have great holidays . . . I did. But, it will be nice to settle into a routine again.

My Thanksgiving was awesome - spent in Mesa, Arizona with gal pal, Nancy. Christmas week was in Atlanta. Suzanne, Marlon, Paul and I had a quiet holiday, but nice. The week was very busy.

Caroling in Suzanne's subdivision. It was fun, but I lip synced!

This New Year's Eve will be spent at home, quilting. My gal pal, Amy, was going to come up, but I have a cold and am not sleeping well. I'm tired and just want and need to be alone. Amy, too, is not feeling well. I think we both will spend most of this weekend in our jammies. I know I will be quilting and resting. I hope she starts to feel better, too.

A wild New Year's Eve at my house. Suits me fine!

I need to reflect on what I want to be, where I see myself a year from now, what goals I need to achieve. 2010 will be a banner year, with retirement in August, selling my house and moving to a different state. Throw in a very troubled relationship and it makes an interesting mix.


A big portion of this mix will be resolved within the next week or so. One way or another it will have huge impact on my life. I've been stalled at this fork in the road for a long, long time. Soon the path will be clear and time to start moving forward.

When I "googled" New Beginnings, this picture came up. It is awesome and very appropriate for me! I love it!

No resolutions. Life can change too much for that! Just goals, more hopes, aspirations and dreams. A new direction, a new reality. I think I better fasten my seat belt. 2010 is going to be be an interesting ride.

Changes are A-Coming

For many months now I have started to feel a shift coming in my life. I've basically been hibernating for well over a year. I realized I have cut myself off from friends and have stayed focused on being at home, my dogs, my relationship and quilting. While I probably needed to do this for many reasons, it is time to dig deep, think about what I truly want, what is good for me and to start the crawl out of my cave. Now that I will be retiring in 10 months, this is even more true and important. My sister, Suzanne, who retired 10 years ago, has aways said that when you retire you need to almost reinvent yourself because your life changes so much. And, it is time I regroup, hang on, let go and take stock in my life. I have let important things slip. My spirituality has suffered. I've put on over 25 pounds. I've lost touch with friends.

Yet, wonderful things are going on, too. Fun things I enjoy and look forward to. I recognize that I have a lot of blessing in my life and am very grateful. I don't feel terribly depressed or in angst, but rather adrift and in need of grounding.

The other day I took the long way home from work. I drove along Lake Michigan. It was another rainy, dreary day. The lake was all different shades of gray and white. The waves, while it was not terribly windy outside, were huge. I was mesmerized. If I hadn't had to get home to let the dogs out I would have pulled into one of the lakefront parking lots and sat there for a while. Maybe because I felt like those waves. Gray, turbulent, pounding on the surf only to be pulled out and pound again. Maybe because I realized that the lake will once again be sparkling blue and calm. And, so will I. This is part of the ebb and flow of nature, on which I based my deepest spirituality on.

Over the course of the next few weeks I will be journaling, blog style, trying to figure things out for myself. Some of you readers have known me a long time. Some only through out quilting interests and for a few months. I would appreciate all of your input while I go through this process.

Life is a journey. I just need to figure out which path to take at this particular time.

Unknown Quilt (aka Quilt from Hell Project)

Blocks 1 and 2 - Homespun Block (top) and Georgetown Circle (the easy one bottom). Fat quarter was the brown fabric.


Jeannie, of Ye Olde Schoolhouse, gave us blocks 3 and 4 of the quilt we are making this year. To recap a previous post, she gives us one fat quarter a month and two block patterns. The only requirement is to make the blocks and use the fat quarter fabric in each block.


She also said that each month one block would be "easy" and one "more difficult." If you remember from a previous post, the directions are almost nonexistent.



Close up of the Homespun block, which, despite some real difficulty for me, I just love.


This month the "easy" block I did put together in a few hours. The "difficult" block took me at least 12 hours. I'm not kidding. Seriously, there are no instructions - just pictures to go by. Jeannie did give us a couple of key measurements such as the flying geese should be 2" x 3 1/2" but that is the extent of it.

Blocks 3 and 4 - Arrow Crown) (top) and Old Favorite (the easy one on the bottom) Fat quarter was the center square in each block





Arrow Crown block must have been designed by a very wicked quilter!

I am finding this very difficult, frustrating and hair pulling! However, I am learning about color placement and how to dissect a quilt block. So, while I may be bald by the time this quilt is finished I will have learned a lot!

I am also using more color and fabric in the difficult blocks and trying to make the easy blocks very simple (3 fabrics only thus far). Maybe I am making more work for myself, but I like the look.



Four blocks down, 20 more to go - if I survive.

Visit to the Cemetery

On Sunday, after I had been home for a while, I decided to drive over to The Patched Works to purchase backing material for my Jars Aplenty project. Well, they were closed for the holiday weekend. I knew this, but forgot. However, I wasn't the only goofball as 2 other cars drove into the parking lot as I was pulling out. Two other disappointed women!

Since I was sort of on the right side of town I decided to visit the cemetery, Wisconsin Memorial Park. I hadn't been there since my father died in November and I knew the headstone for both my parents was now in place and that one of us girls should check it out and make sure all was in order. Plus, it was time I went.

There is something about cemeteries I kind of like. Peaceful, obviously, but to me they are calming, too.

My Mom died in 2003 and was cremated. My father also wanted to be cremated and their wish was to have their ashes mingled and then to be buried together. We kept Mom's ashes in Georgia at my sister's house until Dad died and then followed their wishes. Their headstone was picked out by Dad after Mom's death. It is really pretty - with trees and mountains. It is easy to tell that Dad picked it out.

It was weird, though, seeing both their names on the headstone. There was a finality to it. They are in the family plot, next to my grandparents and my uncle and aunt, as well as other family members. My ex-husband, Bill, is buried there, with my family, as well.

It was a lovey day out and they are all right under a large oak tree. I sat down and cried a bit. I really miss my parents. I also had a good talk with all of them, asking for their strength, love and guidance. I have been feeling like I am approaching a crossroads in my life. There are decisions coming up that I need to make that will affect the rest of my life. I needed to be grounded by them. I needed the stillness and beauty of the cemetery. It felt good. It felt right. I didn't get any immediate responses from them (smile), but I know I will.

I think I will go back several more times before the snow falls this year. I feel the strength and solidarity of them surrounding me. It's a good feeling.

A Little Overwhelmed

Yeah - I'm a little overwhelmed in the quilting world these days. Maybe life, in general.

I have 2 queen sized quilts that need the binding put on. Hopefully today I will get the binding machine sewed on both of them. That will make me feel better. I can take my time with the hand sewing, which I love to do at night. I figure it will take most of the summer to get these babies completed with the binding. That I can handle.

My sampler quilt is almost done. Tuesday is the last class and we put the sashing on. Then I can add the boarder, measure out the backing and get it to the quilters. I just have to finish one piece of hand applique, which I should get done tonight and/or tomorrow night. Of the three appliques blocks, only one got hand finished. The other two I did on the machine. I was going to hand turn one small piece, but felt too much pressure to get it done. My machine applique definitely needs a lot of work, but I enjoyed it and I am enjoying hand stitching using the blanket stitch.

The baby quilt keeps getting pushed to the side. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get the blocks completed. I only have 8 more to go, so it won't take long to piece them. Sewing the blocks together won't be bad, either, but where's the time? I want to take both the sampler quilt and the baby quilt to the quilters at the same time. It will be a relief to get them out of the house!

It's nice weather this weekend. I have gardening to do, too!

I need to retire so I can get things done! Only 14 months and 24 days, but who's counting?

Sad Day

I am not a political person. Those who know me well know that I hate politics and I do not intend to use this blog as a "soap box" to voice my views.

However, today I find it necessary to speak out.

I find it extremely sad that the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on gay marriage. I find it even sadder than the people of California voted against gay marriage. Wishy washy.

To the state of California I have this to say:

"Shame on you."

Walking with the Dogs

This week I've been walking the "girls" very early each morning - around 6:15am. Notice I use the word "with" the dogs, not "taking" them for a walk! Big difference.

We walk each other actually. They slow me down while taking lingering sniffs and I drag them along with the sniffs become obsessive.

This morning was lovely. During the pre-dawn hour, a sliver of a moon hung in the blue sky surrounded by huge, dark clouds. Since I love the moon in all of her phases, this glimpse was breathtaking.

The birds are very active this time of day. Even though we walk very early in the morning, the robins are singing their little hearts out. I like to think one joins us, flying from tree to tree and serenading us as we walk. However, it is more than likely many robins saying "Good Morning!" to each other. Other birds join the chorus - the chirp of the little sparrow, the whistling of the cardinals, the cries of the gulls. Every morning has the opportunity to turn in to a major bird concert!

I'm by nature a morning person. I love these walks as much as Gracie and Lucy Lou do. It gives my day a boost of inner peace and contentment. It is my time to spend with God, with nature. It is my prayer.

Sniffs and all.

Poor Gracie

Gracie had surgery on Monday. I noticed a little growth on her leg and took her to the vet right away. He was concerned enough to want it removed and tested for cancer.

Gracie did great throughout the surgery. I got her home and she was just fine. Well, in true Gracie fashion, she did try to get pity from me, which wasn't too hard to do. However, after jumping on and off the bed as well as most of the other furniture, my feeling sorry for her didn't last too long! She will limp a little when first getting up if she has been sleeping, but otherwise I see no side effect other than trying to look pathetic. She does a good job, doesn't she?

Friday we went back to get the bandages changed. Hence the bright green bandage. The first one looked like army camouflage.

When I first got Gracie she was 1 1/2 years old. That was almost 8 years ago. At that time she had a slightly deformed nipple, which the vet told me to keep an eye on. Two years ago it became swollen and red so we had it removed. It was cancer, but the vet got it all and she has been just fine. Hopefully when we get the test results back from this latest growth, all will be well. I take her and Lucy Lou to Spirit of 76 Vet Clinic. They are the best ! Dr. Voss has been our vet the last couple of years, but all of the doctors there are great, as well as the support staff.

Lucy Lou doesn't seem overly concerned about Gracie's plight. She gave her a good sniffing when she came home after surgery, but in true Lucy Lou fashion nothing really bothers her.

Tomorrow Gracie takes the last of her pain meds and antibiotics. I should get the test results back in a few days and her stitches come out in another week. Let's hope this ordeal will all be over with then.

I've been a wreck!

A Very Bitchy, Frustrated Quilter

Jeez.

I spent hours and hours and hours on this mock basket weave quilt. It is a very easy, 4-square quilt, made of 2 materials with stripes. One color is cut vertically and the other horizontally. Strips are sewn together, cut, sewed into blocks, blocks into rows and there you go. A queen sized quilt.

Except that it took forever. Only 2 colors and prints got very boring. It lost its challenge. It is huge. Each block is 6 inches. The quilt is 16 blocks in width and 18 in length. That is 288 blocks. 1,152 squares. 96" x 108". I thought I would never, ever get it done.

I even started a new quilt. Got it just about cut out when I realized that if I didn't finish this one, I never would. And, since I had only 6 rows to go before completed I put everything aside and finished it.

When I made the last stitch, I stood up from the sewing machine and danced a little jig around my kitchen. I pressed the quilt top, pressed and squared off the backing and drove immediately to the quilt shop to have it professionally quilted.

At the shop, they measured it and I completed the paperwork and took one, long look at the quilt.

And, then I saw it. One block on the second to last row was sewn in sideways. Thank God it is the end block, but never the less, the quilt had to go back home.

Note block with safety pins. You can click on the image to really see my mistake!

Now, I am far from being a perfectionist. However, in quilting you have to be pretty darn near perfect. This quilt has been very forgiving as many squares don't quite match up, but it is very hard to see them. And, this mistake is at the bottom of the quilt on a corner. I could have let it slide and I bet no one would be the wiser (well, almost no one). But, after all of the hard work I just can't let it be wrong.

I own several seam rippers. They get a good work out on my quilts! Tomorrow night I will rip out the block, press it, and sew it back into the quilt correctly.

There are such quilt known as "humility" quilts. Quilts with obvious mistakes in them, still quilted and used. They are to remind the quilter that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. I could have used this as my "humility" quilt, I guess. But, truthfully, knowing there was this mistake in it would have driven me crazy.

BURRRR: Thoughts on my dogs and quilting on a cold winter day

It is cold outside.

My dogs go out, go potty and run back in. No sniffing, no poking around. The doggie door on the outer porch door gets very stiff in the cold and little Gracie has a hard time pushing it with her head to get in the porch and, therefore, back into the warmth of the house. Lucy Lou, on the other hand, gives it a good shove and strolls on in. I notice that Gracie waits for Lucy Lou when she can and catches the door once Lucy Lou is through it. However, this morning she wanted back in and pawed at the stiff plastic door until she got through it. Poor pup.

Yesterday Phil and I picked up my "doggie" themed lap quilt made for my doggie sitter, Mary Sue. It is a very simple, large block quilt I sewed together in less than 5 hours and took in to have professionally quilted. I'll post pictures when Mary Sue comes to pick it up. Late yesterday afternoon after Phil when back to Illinois, I machine sewed the binding on to the front of the quilt.

As I settled in last evening to start hand stitching the binding to the quilt back I decided to bring in the latest book on CD I am listening to in my car. There is nothing worth watching on TV and I wanted some noise in the background. I'm not much of a listener to music when I am alone and the TV is off, preferring the quiet. But, last night I wanted sound.

What a delightful evening I had! The lap quilt was spread out on me, keeping me very warm. Gracie jumped up and snuggled in under the quilt as I stitched, adding another layer of warmth. Lucy Lou was in her basket snoring gently and I listened to my book. It is Time is a River by Mary Alice Monroe, another good Southern female writer. (I really like Southern women writers). I'm enjoying it.

I like my own company. I like keeping busy when alone, which is one reason quilting has become so important to me. I'm being creative while making things that are useful. During the daylight hours I do the cutting and sewing of the quilt pieces, watching the blocks accumulate and the quilt pattern appear. I enjoy the quiet of my home, watching the birds at the feeders from a couple of different windows, stopping to rub the bellies of the dogs or play with them, cooking simple meals. Piecing together scraps of fabric that turn into something beautiful.

Now I have discovered another pleasure for the evenings. When I want a little company, while hand stitching at night, there is always a book on CD awaiting to be discovered.

Ahh, another simple pleasure.

Let Me Give Thanks

This Thanksgiving I plan to spend the next 4 days at home, alone and in my pajamas.

The fall has been a roller coaster ride of events and emotions for me and those around me. I'm tired, I'm weary and I need my 4-day holiday to step back, reflect and recoup! Soon I will haul out my quilting, which has been put aside for a couple of weeks, and start sewing to my heart's content.

My father died November 18th. Although I mourn his loss and miss him, at age 90 with Alzheimer's and unable to walk, it was his time. He wanted to live to be 90 and he made it with several months to spare. I believe he is now reunited with my mother, his love for over 61 years, as well has his family and friends. He is in heaven, strong and healthy and singing love songs in Mom's ear.

Dad went into hospice care in September. The fall was spent going to work and 1-2 days a weeks (as well as at least once during the weekend) traveling out to see Dad and feed him his lunch. I thank goodness for the Family Medical Leave Act which allowed me to take precious time from work to do this. I am also grateful for the fire department for which I work for understanding my need to be with Dad in the day time hours, when he was most aware. I am actually looking forward to returning to work Monday and starting the week without plans to leave during the day! I crave "normality" whatever that is!

Yet the last 2 months with Dad, even though most of the time he didn't know me and slowly lost his ability to move, talk and sing, I have felt the closest to him. I have always said I was blessed with the best parents in the world. It's true.

Philip has also been dealing with his father. At age 86 he needed more care and attention. At one point, Phil went out to New York five weekends in a row to make arrangements with his siblings to move his father into an assisted living facility. Phil's parents lived in the same Long Island home for over 54 years. The slow process of cleaning out the house has begun. It has been a stressful and sad process for Phil. Even though this meant our time together has been limited between dealing with our father's, it has brought us closer as we are sharing the same thoughts and emotions.

I was suppose to spend this Thanksgiving week in Atlanta with my sister and her family. This, of course, all changed when Dad died. Philip rearranged some of his plans to be with me and my family and now, this Thanksgiving week, will undergo medical tests that should have happened last week. The tests are hell, but we are very optimistic as to the outcome. Next weekend he travels back to New York to spend time with his father, who is not adjusting well to assisted living. While my sister and brother-in-law still welcomed me to travel to Atlanta with them after the funeral, I knew we all needed this time to relax and process the events of the past couple of weeks.

After Dad's memorial service Phil did spend a few days in Oklahoma with his daughter and son-in-law who are expecting their first baby (Phil's first grandchild!). Phil painted the baby's room, put up a chair rail and a panda bear wall mural. I am thankful Phil did this and spent time with Colleen and Rick. I know working on the baby's room brought this tender hearted man great joy. Now he is home this Thanksgiving day, preparing for his tests which start tomorrow.

Phil and I have postponed several things we planned this fall until later this winter. We need the time to relax and get into our routines again. We both have other family issues we will be dealing with in the next couple of months and need time to process. It's OK. We are a strong couple and know that this time will bring us even closer together than pull us apart. Plus, we have a baby to look forward to in late March!

Life is full of the good and the bad times. I'm remembering both this long weekend. It's OK and what I need to do this weekend. For all the sad things that happened these past few months, behind all of them are wonderful memories. I am so grateful for these memories. So very grateful.

Yet another quiz

Thanks to Earthbound-Spirit for another fun quiz. Been a while since I've done one of these, but it was fun. Try it!

Your result for The 4-Variable IQ Test...

Verbal

10% interpersonal, 35% visual, 40% verbal and 15% mathematical!

Your strongest type of intelligence is Verbal. You thrive on words, word games, and languages in general. I'm feeling insecure as I write this, because you are reading it. You see, language demands a certain level of recursive thought, and, as someone who just scored highly on it, I'm guessing you already noted the intentional dangling modifier I just put in this sentence. Didn't you? Smarty pants. 4-eyes.

Your specific scores follow. On any axis, a score above 25% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 25% means you use it less. It says nothing about cognitive skills, just your interest.

Your brain is roughly:

10% Interpersonal

35%Visual

40%Verbal

15%Mathematical

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice to the world.

1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 20%.

2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 25%.

3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 50%.

Take The 4-Variable IQ Test at

Quilting

I’ve always been interested in and loved handmade quilts. When I was in my 20s I tried a quilting class, but found it too frustrating. I didn’t have the patience to be so accurate and precise. It was a large class and I didn’t receive the individual help I needed. So, I dropped the class and all hopes of ever quilting and went on to enjoy them from afar.

When I was married, Bill and I took a trip out east and while in Lancaster, PA where we drove down country lanes until we found an Amish farm where the lady of the house sold quilts. We bought one – a bear claw pattern – all hand stitched. It’s beautiful. I haven’t used it in years, but it is carefully packed away safe and sound. On my many trips to Georgia my sister and I have found a place that sells beautiful locally made quilts for very reasonable prices and I have considered purchasing one or two of them over the years.

Recently I became interested in making quilts again. I know there are all new methods of cutting the material, sewing the squares, piecing, etc. I found a small, friendly quilt store outside of Cedarburg, WI and signed up for a beginning class.

I’m enjoying it. There is only one other woman in the class so we get great assistance from the instructor, Diane. She is very patient and helpful and the class is fun. We are making a table runner. While I’m not happy about my choices of fabric (they looked good at the time), I am enjoying the process. And, while I feel like I am doing more ripping out than sewing together, I’m not frustrated by my lack of precision. I am looking at it as a learning experience.

During this time of stress, with Dad dying, Phil’s father ill, family issues, etc., I’m finding even the process of ripping apart my many lopsided squares is soothing. My hands are busy and I feel like I am creating something of worth. Slowly, but surely I am getting more and more accurate (a quilting foot on my sewing machine made a huge difference).

And, I have started several more table runners as holiday presents for some of my gal pals, in materials I really like. Ha! I hope they do, too!

I have signed up for the next level class in Cedarburg and am on the waiting list for another class at a quilt store closer to home. I love looking and touching all of the different fabrics, imagining putting colors and fabrics together and dreaming of someday snuggling under a quilt I made with Phil .

Sometimes things you really want to do or try need to be put on hold. Almost 30 years later I am starting something I think I will pursue for a long time. It was worth the wait!

Dragonfly Miracles

Yesterday I looked out my back hallway window to check on Lucy Lou, who was sunning her old doggie bones in the late afternoon sun. I noticed something(s) flying and buzzing around my yard. I went outside and found dozens of dragonflies in the air.

It must just be the time of year. The dragonflies where the huge, double winged, green species. They were beautiful. Upon closer notice I could see little white insects also flying around, which were dinner for the dragonflies. The dragonflies darted, they hovered, they flew backward and I even saw one do a perfect triple somersault. Those poor little gnats didn’t stand a chance to these flying aces. The other amazing thing is that they basically stayed in my little yard. Occasionally one flew over into the neighbor’s yard, but flew back into mine again.

Dragonflies have held a special place in my heart ever since Phil gave me a beautiful dragonfly pendent (which he thought was a butterfly). They seem to be messengers for me (us) and when I see them I believe they bring good energy. You can check out their animal/insect totem by clicking here. There have been times in our relationship when I was worried about Phil or concerned about where we were headed and I would see a dragonfly and know that all would be well. And, it is.

I stood outside for a long time, smiling as the dragonflies zoomed all around me. Even Lucy Lou watched them, her ears pointed and alert. We both laughed with amazement, Lucy Lou with a silly doggie grin and me laughing at the thrill of all those dragonflies.. Phil was here and he came out for a while to watch them, too. It was truly an incredible sight to see and experience. I’m glad Phil experienced it with me.

In a short while they were gone.

Today I left work early (thank goodness for FMLA time) and went out to see my Dad. I got there early enough to feed him lunch, which the aides appreciate as they are always are busy at meal time. Afterwards I put a blanket on his lap and a hat on his head and Dad and I went out to enjoy a beautiful September day. I wheeled him all the way down to the Bark River, which runs through the property his health facility is on. We sat and watched the water flow, the birds fly and the trees move in the breeze. I knew Dad enjoyed being outside with me. There were dragonflies all along the banks of the river. Many different kinds, but none like the ones I had seen the night before in my own backyard.

I tried to show him the dragonflies, but I don't think he could move his head or eyes enough to see them. I told him about the beautiful experience I had with the dragonflies in my yard. His eyes flickered a little. His speech is almost incomprehensible, but he tried to talk. Maybe he understood. I'd like to think he did.

I hope when Dad passes it is on the wings of a dragonfly, the light creatures of the air.