Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I am here in Mesa, AZ - staying with my good friend, Nancy. It's been a great vacation. Well - except the trip to the Urgent Care Clinic on Sunday, due to my allergic reaction to her kitty! The weather is just beautiful and we have been all over the area. I have also seen my sister, Linda, and we will all spend today together. (More on this trip when I get home).

Last night Nancy and I watched Slum Dog Millionaire together. It is a great movie and I highly recommend it. At one point - watching the poverty of India - I looked over at Nancy and said, "Thank God we were born in the United States!"

I have so very many things to be grateful for and I will spare you the list as it is long! But today my thoughts will drift to all of the wonderful things in my life - past, present and future - and I will be filled with awe and gratitude.

I am a very blessed woman.

A Stole for Lori

I first met Lori in the early 1990s while we were both attending Unitarian Universalist Church-West in Brookfield, WI. I started a Women's Spirituality Group, Lori joined and we became friends. A few years later, Lori and Sharon (another Church Lady) facilitated a 13-week curriculum for women entitled Rise Up and Call Her Name. It is from this group that the "Church Ladies "officially " began.

Almost from the start I think we all realized Lori had Unitarian Universalist minister potential. Our group presented several church services over the years, which were very well received and which Lori had a huge role in organizing. And, there was something in Lori that just made us feel she had the calling. But, life can sometimes get in the way of thoughts and suggestions. Lori and her husband had three young children and were busy people. Also, as the Brookfield church grew, a group left the church and started Lake Country UU Church, about 40 miles to the west. Lori and her husband are charter members and became active is developing this successful church.

Time moves on, kids get older and thoughts/yearnings turn into solid ideas and actions. A few years ago, Lori announced that she had been accepted in the Chicago Theological Seminary. This program better suited her schedule and needs better Meadville Lombard , the UU theological seminary in Chicago. She was able to take classes at Meadville and CTS would accept her credits. After three years of studies and a one year internship at a UU church, Lori could become a UU minister.

To the Church Ladies this was a no-brainer. We knew Lori would make a fabulous UU minister and while the seminary would be challenging, we know she could do it. And, she did. When it came time for an internship, Lori landed Olympia Brown UU Church in Racine, WI with one of the best ministers UU has to offer.

Around this time, the Church Ladies began to think of what we could do for Lori as a "congratulations" for all of her hard work and dedication. We decided on a clerical stole. I contacted and worked with Jenna, from Cotton Patch Designs, out of Texas. This company normally works with Christian ministers, and I think Jenna was a little curious about designing a UU stole, especially one as specific as we wanted. But Jenna listened to what we wanted and designed a beautiful stole. Jenna was great to work with. She is an artist!

Yet, Lori had one more hurdle. The last part of the UU ministerial program is a grueling panel interview, which included Lori giving a sermon, at the UU headquarters in Boston, MA. Lori and her husband flew east. Again, we had no doubt. And, Lori passed with flying colors. She will be officially ordained as a UU minister this spring.

At our Church Lady gathering on Halloween, we presented Lori with her stole. Represented on it are the Church Ladies (circle of women) Unitarian Universalism (flaming chalice), earth, air, fire and water (ground/trees, swirls, stars and river). Inside is a quote from one of Lori's favorites, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. The back has the pink ribbon of a breast cancer survivor along with the Chinese symbols for strength and hope. Also, stitched inside is all of our names. You may click on the pictures for a more detailed view - it's worth it!

It is a beautiful stole, but not as beautiful as Lori.

A Whole Lotta Witches

My Halloween panel

Church ladies without me

Last night my "church lady" friends came over for our annual celebration of Halloween. It is a tradition we meet at my house for Halloween (Joanne's for Winter Solstice, Kristin's for Summer Solstice, Janet's for Lammas, etc.). We try to meet according to the Earth-based spiritual celebrations. While many of us consider our spiritual paths Earth-based, not all of us do. We have a wide variety of spiritual beliefs (Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Earth-based to name a few) and we respect each others individuality. Our gatherings are always meaningful and fun. Halloween is the one time we "dress up." What fun!

Church Ladies with me (and Gracie, Lucy Lou being camera shy)

We had a great surprise when Nikki showed up! Nikki, a founding member of the Church Ladies, moved back home to Chico, California about 2 years ago. Although we all communicate via our yahoo group, it's not the same as having her here with us. It was great to see her.

It was also a very special night was we had another surprise for one of our group, Lori. More about that on my next post.

Amy & me show off our great hats we bought together at Cracker Barrel.

We had a great potluck, we checked in with each other and we honored the holiday by talking about our experiences with loved one who have passed. Lori read 2 beautiful poems.


I will never be able to express how much these women mean to me. To quote a song, "They are the wind beneath my wings." I love them one and all.

Changes are A-Coming

For many months now I have started to feel a shift coming in my life. I've basically been hibernating for well over a year. I realized I have cut myself off from friends and have stayed focused on being at home, my dogs, my relationship and quilting. While I probably needed to do this for many reasons, it is time to dig deep, think about what I truly want, what is good for me and to start the crawl out of my cave. Now that I will be retiring in 10 months, this is even more true and important. My sister, Suzanne, who retired 10 years ago, has aways said that when you retire you need to almost reinvent yourself because your life changes so much. And, it is time I regroup, hang on, let go and take stock in my life. I have let important things slip. My spirituality has suffered. I've put on over 25 pounds. I've lost touch with friends.

Yet, wonderful things are going on, too. Fun things I enjoy and look forward to. I recognize that I have a lot of blessing in my life and am very grateful. I don't feel terribly depressed or in angst, but rather adrift and in need of grounding.

The other day I took the long way home from work. I drove along Lake Michigan. It was another rainy, dreary day. The lake was all different shades of gray and white. The waves, while it was not terribly windy outside, were huge. I was mesmerized. If I hadn't had to get home to let the dogs out I would have pulled into one of the lakefront parking lots and sat there for a while. Maybe because I felt like those waves. Gray, turbulent, pounding on the surf only to be pulled out and pound again. Maybe because I realized that the lake will once again be sparkling blue and calm. And, so will I. This is part of the ebb and flow of nature, on which I based my deepest spirituality on.

Over the course of the next few weeks I will be journaling, blog style, trying to figure things out for myself. Some of you readers have known me a long time. Some only through out quilting interests and for a few months. I would appreciate all of your input while I go through this process.

Life is a journey. I just need to figure out which path to take at this particular time.

Visit to the Cemetery

On Sunday, after I had been home for a while, I decided to drive over to The Patched Works to purchase backing material for my Jars Aplenty project. Well, they were closed for the holiday weekend. I knew this, but forgot. However, I wasn't the only goofball as 2 other cars drove into the parking lot as I was pulling out. Two other disappointed women!

Since I was sort of on the right side of town I decided to visit the cemetery, Wisconsin Memorial Park. I hadn't been there since my father died in November and I knew the headstone for both my parents was now in place and that one of us girls should check it out and make sure all was in order. Plus, it was time I went.

There is something about cemeteries I kind of like. Peaceful, obviously, but to me they are calming, too.

My Mom died in 2003 and was cremated. My father also wanted to be cremated and their wish was to have their ashes mingled and then to be buried together. We kept Mom's ashes in Georgia at my sister's house until Dad died and then followed their wishes. Their headstone was picked out by Dad after Mom's death. It is really pretty - with trees and mountains. It is easy to tell that Dad picked it out.

It was weird, though, seeing both their names on the headstone. There was a finality to it. They are in the family plot, next to my grandparents and my uncle and aunt, as well as other family members. My ex-husband, Bill, is buried there, with my family, as well.

It was a lovey day out and they are all right under a large oak tree. I sat down and cried a bit. I really miss my parents. I also had a good talk with all of them, asking for their strength, love and guidance. I have been feeling like I am approaching a crossroads in my life. There are decisions coming up that I need to make that will affect the rest of my life. I needed to be grounded by them. I needed the stillness and beauty of the cemetery. It felt good. It felt right. I didn't get any immediate responses from them (smile), but I know I will.

I think I will go back several more times before the snow falls this year. I feel the strength and solidarity of them surrounding me. It's a good feeling.

Moon in the 'hood

Last night I let the dogs out for "last call" a little after 10pm. Gracie came right in, but Lucy Lou was poking around and then started barking at kids walking by in the alley. I had to go out and grab her to get her back in.

As always when I am out a night, I look up at the sky to see the moon. It was eerily beautiful, just rising. I grabbed my camera and this is what I got. Not the best, but I think a little haunting.

I love the moon.

Yet another quiz

Thanks to Earthbound-Spirit for another fun quiz. Been a while since I've done one of these, but it was fun. Try it!

Your result for The 4-Variable IQ Test...

Verbal

10% interpersonal, 35% visual, 40% verbal and 15% mathematical!

Your strongest type of intelligence is Verbal. You thrive on words, word games, and languages in general. I'm feeling insecure as I write this, because you are reading it. You see, language demands a certain level of recursive thought, and, as someone who just scored highly on it, I'm guessing you already noted the intentional dangling modifier I just put in this sentence. Didn't you? Smarty pants. 4-eyes.

Your specific scores follow. On any axis, a score above 25% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 25% means you use it less. It says nothing about cognitive skills, just your interest.

Your brain is roughly:

10% Interpersonal

35%Visual

40%Verbal

15%Mathematical

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice to the world.

1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 20%.

2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 25%.

3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 50%.

Take The 4-Variable IQ Test at

Dragonfly Miracles

Yesterday I looked out my back hallway window to check on Lucy Lou, who was sunning her old doggie bones in the late afternoon sun. I noticed something(s) flying and buzzing around my yard. I went outside and found dozens of dragonflies in the air.

It must just be the time of year. The dragonflies where the huge, double winged, green species. They were beautiful. Upon closer notice I could see little white insects also flying around, which were dinner for the dragonflies. The dragonflies darted, they hovered, they flew backward and I even saw one do a perfect triple somersault. Those poor little gnats didn’t stand a chance to these flying aces. The other amazing thing is that they basically stayed in my little yard. Occasionally one flew over into the neighbor’s yard, but flew back into mine again.

Dragonflies have held a special place in my heart ever since Phil gave me a beautiful dragonfly pendent (which he thought was a butterfly). They seem to be messengers for me (us) and when I see them I believe they bring good energy. You can check out their animal/insect totem by clicking here. There have been times in our relationship when I was worried about Phil or concerned about where we were headed and I would see a dragonfly and know that all would be well. And, it is.

I stood outside for a long time, smiling as the dragonflies zoomed all around me. Even Lucy Lou watched them, her ears pointed and alert. We both laughed with amazement, Lucy Lou with a silly doggie grin and me laughing at the thrill of all those dragonflies.. Phil was here and he came out for a while to watch them, too. It was truly an incredible sight to see and experience. I’m glad Phil experienced it with me.

In a short while they were gone.

Today I left work early (thank goodness for FMLA time) and went out to see my Dad. I got there early enough to feed him lunch, which the aides appreciate as they are always are busy at meal time. Afterwards I put a blanket on his lap and a hat on his head and Dad and I went out to enjoy a beautiful September day. I wheeled him all the way down to the Bark River, which runs through the property his health facility is on. We sat and watched the water flow, the birds fly and the trees move in the breeze. I knew Dad enjoyed being outside with me. There were dragonflies all along the banks of the river. Many different kinds, but none like the ones I had seen the night before in my own backyard.

I tried to show him the dragonflies, but I don't think he could move his head or eyes enough to see them. I told him about the beautiful experience I had with the dragonflies in my yard. His eyes flickered a little. His speech is almost incomprehensible, but he tried to talk. Maybe he understood. I'd like to think he did.

I hope when Dad passes it is on the wings of a dragonfly, the light creatures of the air.

Perspectives

I'm trying to put things in perspective. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.



While my dear friend, Sally, is fighting for her life on a ventilator, I've been home for a week with a sinus infection and bronchitis. Now, that is comparing apples to oranges. I can breathe on my own. I can drive myself to the doctor and get stronger meds to make me better. Sally is trapped inside herself. Our friend, Amy, said maybe this is all part of a spiritual journey she needs to take. Sally is a "shaman in training." I know she would appreciate and value that thought as I do.



As I do things around the house, as I'm able, I think of Sally. She was with me the day I closed on my house. The first thing she did when we walked in was to check it for security. Sally, 20-year veteran of the Chicago police force, wanted to make sure I'd be safe. Then, with sage, salt and water, we smudged my home. Going to every corner from the basement to the attic and all around the yard, we chanted some lines and added another layer of safety and love to my home. I will never forget to the smudging with her. It was an act of love between the two of us. She was so proud of me for buying my own home.



Breathe, Sally, Breathe.



Sally with her lotions and potions. In my shower I have Tate's All Natural Miracle Conditioner. On our trip to Costa Rica a few years ago with gal pal, Miki, Sally brought along this product she found in a health food store. We marveled over all of its uses. Upon my return home I ordered it, along with the shampoo. It is the only product I have ever used to keep my dry scalp from flaking. How many times I have sat with Sally while she applied different facials to my face, made out of oatmeal or honey or whatever? How many times has she handed me a bottle of lotion, "Here, try this. And, while your at it, rub some on my back." "Smell this, Julie Ann. Isn't it fabulous? Put some on." "Let me give you a manicure" "Here," tossing me a hair brush," Would you please brush my hair? I'll brush yours when you are done!" "Want to go for a massage while I'm there?" "Oh, girl, this is just the best stuff." Try it, smell it, put some on. Oh, Sally - you taught me to pamper myself.



Breathe, Sally, Breathe.



In Sedona we sat in the cold on the vortex, stealing looks at each other to see if we were really feeling the earth's energy. We climbed down canyons to watch the sun dance off the river onto the canyon walls. We climbed in caves to hold ritual. We sat in silence at the condo, each reading books we would pass on to each other.



Breathe, Sally, Breathe.



I take little walks around my small yard, watching the progress of the shrubs and flowers. The weeping crab apple tree Phil bought me several years ago is about ready to bloom. My lilac bush is not only all green, but the little flowers are growing like crazy. Only my Rose of Sharon's are just starting to show signs of life. They are always late bloomers. The neighborhood smells of newly cut grass. A smell Sally and I both like.



Breathe, Sally, Breathe.



I think of walking around Ronora together. The land, so special and sacred. Arm and arm we would walk, enjoying the beauty. Sally would see the woodland spirits, something I was never able to see. That's OK, though. She believes in them and sees them.

Breathe, Sally, Breathe.



Sally told Amy the night before her lung biopsy, that she dreamt of a big brown bear. I read Amy the attributes of the bear totum. Power. And hibernation. Sally is a powerful woman, as well as a soulful woman. Maybe the bear was telling her to nurture her power now and go into a deep sleep to preserve her strength. Sally would appreciate that.



It is the time of renewal, of hope of life. May Sally's lungs find the renewal, that life and give all of us hope.

Some Thoughts on Prayer

My oldest nephew was potty trained pretty early. The only thing the he a difficult time with was wiping his butt after pooping. Being a thoughtful little boy, he would call for his Mom to come clean him up. But, after a couple of weeks, my sister felt he could do it himself and told him that he was now a big boy and big boys wiped their own butts. Now, my nephew was raised a UU, but his grandparents were Lutheran and he was exposed to prayers and had asked about what they were and was given a good Lutheran answer (whatever that may be). One day he told him Mom he was going potty. She got busy with things and after a few minutes thought things were too quiet for comfort. She looked for him high and low and finally found him still on the toilet, his head bowed, eyes shut, hands folded. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Mommy," he said, "I'm just praying to God that you'll come wipe my butt!" (Sorry - John, but after 38 years, that is still funny and sweet.)

I think that day a prayer might have been answered, but after that the kid was left up to his own devises!

One of my Church Ladies friends, who is a seminary student, UU and fellow blogger, wrote a blog post on prayer, which got me thinking. Check out http://www.earthbound-spirit.blogspot.com/

I have struggled with prayer all of my life, until a couple of years ago. Who was I suppose to pray to? Heck, my prayers were never answered, so why bother? What should I pray for? Can I bargain with God? Who is this God? And why would He bother answering my prayers when there were so many, many other prayers sent to Him much more important than mine.

Through a long series of events in my life and after searching for a long time, I was led to the Unitarian Universalist church. What a concept - they didn't really pray. . . they meditated. Hmmm, could that be a form of prayer? When they did pray, it wasn't like the Lutheran prayers I was brought up with. Not to the God in the sky or to Jesus on a cross. They prayed but to a higher power, to the Creator of the earth, to Mother Nature.

Shortly after I discovered the UU church I took a workshop entitled "Cakes for the Queen of Heaven." The curriculum was written by UU minister Shirley Rank and opened up a whole new world for me at the time. The feminine in the divine. The Goddess. Mother Nature. Finally, something I could grab on to, something I could understand.

Being a lifelong tree hugger (I truly hugged trees as a kid) and nature lover, seeing the divine in Nature, the beauty that was all around me and being able to be with people who understood how I could find my higher power in Nature was wonderful. It led me to a women's spirituality (my Church Ladies) group and to another workshop entitled, "Rise Up and Call Her Name," continuation of "Cakes for the Queen of Heaven." This led to serving for over 3 years on the UU Central Midwest District of Women & Religion www.womenandreligion.org which involved the planning of a annual winter conference (WomanSpirit) and a summer women's retreat at Ronora www.ronora.org . As part of the conferences and retreats, there was a heavy emphasis on ritual work. Writing, developing and participating in various rituals became almost second nature to me. It was fun, rewarding and fulfilling in many ways - both in group ritual and the small, quiet rituals I did for just myself. And I still participate, enjoy and look forward to both types of rituals.

But what does all of this have to do with prayer?

As I participated in ritual, assisted with sweat lodges, drummed, danced and talked with other women I found myself opening to the thought and action of prayer. How it came in all different forms - not only with hands folded and head bowed, but dancing, laughing, drumming, sweating, singing and ritual. I began to understand that prayer was and could be, to me, both meditation and action.

Over the years my thoughts and beliefs have changed and grown, but in my late 30s and into well into my 40s, this all had a huge, positive impact on me. And, slowly prayer came into my life.

There is a Garth Brooks song - Unanswered Prayers, in which he sings about a woman he loved and wanted as a young man. He prayed that he would have her forever. At the time he thought that what he was praying for was want he truly wanted in life. But this prayer was never answered and they went their own ways. In reflection many years later he realized that it was a blessing. He couldn't imagine what his life would have been like if that prayer would have been answered. He realized he was so happy with the way his life turned out, the way it was. One of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers.

When I first heard that song it was a "aha" moment. Maybe for all those years I was praying for the wrong things and, who knows, maybe even praying to the wrong . . . well, thing (person, deity, saint, God?). Maybe my life was turning out just as it meant to be - rocky roads, pot holes and all. Maybe my prayers had been answered, but just not quite as I expected them to be.

Ahhh, not the way I expected them to be.

Are my prayers now being answered? Yes. No. Maybe. I'm no longer focused on the answer, but rather the intent.

So, now when I pray it is usually a prayer of gratitude. Gratitude for my life - as it is, as it will become. I pray for loved ones in need, I pray for those I don't know, but need help. I pray that all is well in my world and the world around me.

I find myself praying in nature without even being aware of it. Planting flowers, hiking, walking the dogs, seeing birds in flight and the leaves changing in the fall. Prayers are all around me if I stop to look and listen. Sometimes prayer and states of grace go hand in hand.

I pray as a leap of faith - that there is something out there that is hearing me, listening to me. I believe there is.

I pray because I truly believe the energy we put forth in prayer makes its way to where we send it - a loved one who is sick, a friend in need, a thought for a better world. I see my prayers as bluish-white light, as a beam being sent out from my heart, my soul.

Who do I pray to? While if it is a active thoughtful prayer (not in a state of grace as in nature) I pray to both the Mother and the Father as I see my higher power as a mixture of both (with a little more emphasis on the feminine).

And I end my prayer with "Blessed Be. Amen." A nod to both my current Earth-Based spiritual beliefs and the God I was raised with.

And, sometimes I end them with this - Merry meet, merry part and merry met again. The circle is open, but never broken. Blessed be.

Life's Persistent Questions

As part of its adult education program, my church offers UUnity Circles. The circles are a group of 7 to 10 adults who meet approximately every 3 weeks. Each circle has a "theme" that they discuss. For example: there is one entitled "This I Believe" based on the NPR program and yet another is geared towards discussing Buddhism, and another may discuss spirituality in every day life.

The groups are formed "as a way for people to explore their deepest understanding of life in the midst of a community of faith" as stated in the brochure promoting the circles. When I heard about the UUnity circles I was interested, excited and eager to join. I am not an active member of my church so I thought this would be one way to still be part of the church community.

The group I selected was "Life's Persistent Questions." Each person (there are 10 of us) put several questions into a "hat" and each time we meet we discuss one or two questions.We meet in each other's homes. The meetings begin with the chalice lighting, a short reading chosen by the host or hostess, a check-in from each person and then the discussion, followed by another reading at the end. We meet promptly from 7 to 9 pm.

This time the question was: Suppose that today were the last day of your life. As you think back over your life, what were your happiest, most joyful and/or meaningful experiences or relationships and what have you accomplished that makes you the most proud?

I have really been thinking about this. Up until about 5 or 6 years ago I would tend to think about the negative things I had done - and there are plenty! I remember shortly after I bought my house I was commiserating about what I saw as all negatives in my life. I was with my gal pal, Sally. Finally she got fed up listening to me and basically said, "Girl - look around you. You own a home. You have a good, stable job. You have a loving family and lots of caring friends. Wake up and smell the coffee!" And, slowly I began to see things differently. With the help of good friends, supportive family and a good man in my life, I realized there are and I have done far more good than bad and I should be proud of what I have accomplished thus far.

But thinking about them and then discussing them openly with others seems like tooting your own horn. The old negatives creep in: I'm not college educated. I don't have a high paying "power" job. I haven't had a successful marriage. I don't have wonderful children (or any children). I haven't gone back to school mid-life. I haven't served in the Peace Corp or raised millions for charity or yadda, yadda, yadda.

See a pattern here: NOT, DON'T, HAVEN'T - all negatives. So, what have I done that I am proud of? What are my most joyful and/or meaningful experiences? Well, here's goes. Not in necessarily in any order unless otherwise stated, here is what I talked about:

First and this is the most important accomplishment of my life because without having done it I deeply believe I would not be here right now. On August 29, 1993 I walked into an AA meeting for the first time. I have remained sober since. I have been active in meetings, made some wonderful, awesome friends and have turned my life around in every single aspect. This hasn't made me a perfect person by any means and boy, do I have my faults, but it gave me the tools to live my life in a much better way then I had lived up until that day in August, 1993. Thank God I took that first step and thank God for Bill W. and Dr. Bob. All the good in my life since that day in 1993 is a direct result of being in AA.

Through instinct or just being blessed, I have surrounded myself with good people. Good friends who I treasure and love more then they will ever know. From gal pals that I have had since childhood, to my wonderful church ladies, co-workers who became friends. They have loved me and supported me and put up with shit from me, hanging in there for whatever it was worth. I only hope that I have been there for them when they needed me and that they know I will always be available to them.

One of my greatest accomplishments (not sure that is the correct term) is being a bone marrow donor. Having been an avid blood donor most of my adult life and just over one year into my sobriety, I was able to donate bone marrow to a young, vibrant woman who had leukemia. Becky is healthy and happy, all these years later. We have stayed in touch, much to my joy. She has a wonderful husband and they have adopted 3 great kids. It was such an easy thing to do, yet had such a huge impact on so many people besides myself - Becky (obviously), her husband, Cary, their families and friends. And, there are 3 little kids in Michigan who have awesome, loving parents because of me. And, again, it was soooo easy!

Through some other grace, I have been with my job (albeit in a ton of different positions) for over 30 years now. The word "pension" and "security" that my parents pounded into my head must have stuck! I haven't always been happy with my job, but right now I am in the best place I couple possibly be and look forward to retiring in less then 3 years. Halleluiah!

Shortly after my divorce I became involved with a very loving and caring man who was raising his 4 children on his own. Because this was my first "sober" romantic relationship, I look on it as the first "adult" relationship I had to this point. While we were only together for a year, this relationship had a huge impact on how I look at loving relationships and what I really wanted in a relationship. During the course of that year I became very close to his youngest daughter. For a few years after we broke up, I remained close to her and spent a lot of time with her. Both relationships, with him and his daughter taught me I deserve the type of love I always wanted and dreamed about and, it taught me that I would have been a good mother if I would have had children (and been sober). I learned so much about myself during this time.

In the late summer of 1999, with no money and no resources, I bought my house. For someone who lived and continues to live, barely from paycheck to paycheck, I think this is a great accomplishment. I love my house (see previous, older posts). It is my home.

As I grow older I have deepen my appreciation of nature. From puttering in my little garden to hiking up mountains, down canyons, or walking along the beach of an ocean, nature is everywhere. Many, many of my greatest experiences or times of joy happened experiencing nature - zip lining in Costa Rica, seeing the land of Georgia while I sky dived, looking out of a cave in Sedona, AZ, the mountains in Ireland, the lochs in Scotland, the birds out of my living room window. Times of pure and simple grace have happened while I was planting annuals in my yard or pulling weeds. I have learned to be open to all of this and let nature show me her beauty.

I have learned the pleasure of simple joys. Playing gin rummy with Phil, laughing with my girlfriends, listening - really listening to people, laughing at the antics of my dogs, watching my great-niece take her first steps and to be, oh, so very grateful and thankful for being given these simple pleasures.

I am glad I really got to know my parents and was able to see them through adult eyes. They are and were wonderful people who truly loved each other and their "girls." They raised us the best they could and did a darn good job. They knew when to help and when to let go. I am blessed to have the parents that I did.

I am sure there will be more accomplishments to come, more happiness and joy - along with the rain that falls into all lives. There are things I would change in my life if I could, things I would do differently. But, overall, I have a good life, a full life and a happy life. I like what I see, and in the end, that is all that matters.

Rate My Life

Took this quiz. Thank you Earth-bound Spirit for the link. I think I have a pretty darn good life. And, according to the quiz, I rated higher than the average person. I'll keep it!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.5
Mind:	7
Body:	6.6
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Still of the Night

Winter Solstice

Of all of the Earth-based holidays/celebrations, winter solstice is my favorite. Not only because of its closeness to the Christian celebration of Christmas, but because it means the return of the light. The end of the year, the birth of a new year. A time of hope, joy and peace.

The midwinter sun stays a little longer each day. The return of the sun light brings forth the moment of new beginnings.

For me it is a time of reflection, a time of hope, a fresh start to the new year. A time of knowing that the days are longer and having the sun light kiss my face.

Tonight it is snowing like crazy. I've just returned from Terri's house where I brought her a Middle Eastern birthday dinner (Happy Birthday, Terri - December 17th). The drive home was slippery and I am happy to be in my snug house, flannel pj's and drinking hot chocolate. The dogs are curled up on my lap and at my feet and I'm looking at the Christmas lights in my living room. My bird feeders are full so the birds won't be hungry in the morning. A new shovel is waiting for me on the front porch. Phil is with his daughter this weekend, but I know he is with me in spirit, as always.

I feel peaceful. I feel content. Solstice will be here in a few days. I will light candles and know that all is well, that all is well, that all is well.

May the circle open, but never be broken. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again. Happy Solstice every one.

For a cool website on Winter Solstice see http://www.candlegrove.com/solstice.html

Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas

A few years ago my church lady friend, Nikki, turned me on to this song by Dar Williams. I really like it and it helps to create a bridge between the Pagans and Christians during this holiday season. Enjoy! (Thank you Earth-Bound Spirit for walking me through the uploading video experience. Not quite sure how I did it after a dozen attempts, but this try worked!)

Let Me Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is here and I am filled with gratitude for so many things in my life. I am blessed with so much. When I think of all I am grateful for, my heart swells. So, I decided to count my blessings. And, although there are many more then listed below, here are a few.

• Philip. What can I say about this wonderful man? I've waited a lifetime and he is well worth the wait. He makes my heart sing. He is my greatest blessing.


• My family. Parents who truly loved me and did their best, which was pretty darn good. Two sisters who are loving and supportive. A small extended family that I try to keep up with. My "greats:" Aaron, Coggan, Cadyn and Shannon. How wonderful are they?
  
• My home. After 8 years it is still my place of safety and security and love. Every single day when I leave it or come home to it, I look at it with pride. I own a home.


• My dogs. They have taught me unconditional love and to take responsibility for a life other than mine. They make me laugh every day. Some people say dogs don't have souls. I beg to differ. Not only do they have souls, but they have helped me find mine.
  
• Friends. From Vicki, Beth and Shelley whom I have known since grade school to new friends I've made over the years. My church ladies, who are always an email away. Over the years I truly don't know what I would have done with them. Anne-Marie, who lives in another country yet we remain close. Friends I've made through my various work locations, like Nancy and Terri. Sally, my traveling gal pal and one of the few people I can talk to about anything and everything. Thank all of you for being there and hanging in there with me.


• Books. I love books. One of the greatest things about the United States is the library system. My life would be so empty without books. I can't remember not reading and appreciate the gifts of all the writers of every book in the world.


• A job I love. I can't say all of my almost 30-year career with the City of Milwaukee has been great, but I have never had to ask for a raise, I've had great health care and have had a very wide and varied amount of experiences. I've learned a lot. And, right now I have the best job I've ever had. I work with great, hard working dedicated people. All of whom I really appreciate.


• The ability to enjoy nature and all of Her beauty. I love my flowers and the birds at my feeders. I love seeing the sun rise over the roof tops and bell tower of St. Augustine's. I have seen and experienced Natures beauty from different parts of the world. The Earth's beauty is a great blessing for all of us, if we would just open our eyes and look.

I'm sure I will be adding to this list over the next few days. Some blessings I will keep to myself, though and continue to say a quiet prayer of thanks.

May all of you have the opportunity to sit down, be still, and count your blessings. I think you'll be surprised at how many you have.

Fall is in the Air

Autumn is officially here. The official fall equinox was in September, but more than that I can feel it in the air. Despite the warm temperatures of the last few weeks, there is a coolness there, too. I can also hear fall in the wind in the trees, the leaves making a more brittle sound. And, it just smells like fall. My flowers are fading and pumpkins are appearing in the stores.

And, today the cold weather really has set in. I yanked the window air conditioner out of my bedroom window and added another blanket to my bed. My heat is on and I'm in my flannel jammies.

But, you know how I tell autumn is arriving? It's the geese.

Late August/early September the geese start to flock together. While outside or walking the dogs, I hear them honking and look up to see their V formation. Even though most of the geese around here don't fly south, they still follow their instincts to form the V formation and call out to each other

I happen to be a fan of geese. They have a lot of great attributes. To me the best is that they mate for life. It's seems to me that if geese can mate for life, we should be able to do the same. They also assist each other with the raising of their young. What a concept!

According to Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small by Ted Andrews the "goose epitomizes the mystery of migration. They constantly shift formation, creating wind drafts and easier flights for those behind them in the formation. This reminds us that as any one individual makes his or her quest, it becomes easier for others to do so as well."

Andrews also points out that by not flying directly behind each other the "goose's view is unobstructed, reminding us that we should not undertake any quest in life without having a full view of what it entails. In this way the journey is facilitated for others."

There is also symbolic meaning in the V formation as it "reflects by its shape an opening to new possibilities."

And while I'm not happy about the amount of goose poop in local parks and other areas, I still enjoy watching them fly and hearing them honk. I love watching them swim with their young in the spring.

There are other signs of autumn, too. But for me, the flight of the geese is the surest sign of all.

Church Ladies

About 15 years ago, while attending my UU church, I took a curriculum entitled, "Cakes for the Queen of Heaven." It was approximately 10 weeks of exploring the aspect of the feminine in the divine. Afterwards, I really wanted this same type of connection with other UU women, so I started a Women's Spirituality Group at church.

This was a great group of women. We met monthly and shared our stories and each seeked out her own individual spirituality. Two of our members decided to facilitate the next curriculum which sprang from "Cakes", entitled "Rise Up and Call Her Name." And, it is from this group, that my wonderful "church ladies" sprang. And, while the Women's Spiritually Group ended 10 years ago, the church ladies are still going strong.

Saturday night we met at my house for Lammas. We try to meet 5 or 6 times a year, loosely following the Earth-based holidays. From the original Rise Up group of 6 or so "core" members. We meet at each other's houses and share ritual, stories and food. We ebb and flow together.

Held together by an internet group, most of our communication is done via email. While most of us live in the greater Milwaukee area, Nikki has moved back home to California, Miki to the Detroit area, Sally to western Michigan. Shannon lives in Missouri and has never attended our gatherings, but still is a part of us. We have been joined by several new woman lately and they are welcomed into the circle.

We have seen each other through births, deaths, moves, divorces, commitments, grandchildren, child rearing, returning to school, additions, and everything in between.

Personally, I cannot even begin to express what this group of women mean to me. They have loved me and supported me, cared and nurtured me and kept me afloat during the worst moments of my life. They share my secrets, joys, loves, dreams and hopes. They laugh with me and cry with me.

What made this weekend even more special is that Sunday night I was able to meet up with Amy and Shannon. They could not attend our recent gathering as they were at a retreat. I drove down to Illinois and shared a quick dinner with them, along with Amy's lovely daughter, Lexie and her son, Nathaniel. I haven't seen Shannon in 2 years and it was great to see her. And, it is fun to see Lexie grow into a beautiful young woman.

So, here's to my church ladies! I love each and every one of you. Ya'll are one of the best blessings of my life.

Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again. The circle is open, but never broken. Blessed be.

For the Beauty of the Earth

For the beauty of the earth, for the splendor of the skies,
for the the love which from our birth
over and around us lies:
Source of all, too thee we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of ear and eye, for the heart and mind's delight,
for the mystic harmony linking sense to sound and sight:
Source of all, too thee we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the wonder of each hour of the day and of the night,
hill and dale and tree and flower, sun and moon and stars of light:
Source of all, too thee we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human care, sister, brother, parent, child,
for the kinship we all share, for all gentle thoughts and mild:
Source of all, too thee we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.

Text: Folliot S. Pierpoint Music: Conrad Kocher; Adapted

All pictures taken in my garden with the exception of the moon rising, which was taken in Kilnaboy, County Clare, Ireland & of my sisters , my father & me, which was taken in Dousman, WI. All taken in May or June, 2007.