Next Super Model

We don't get many perks as government employees. No bonuses. No fancy business trips. No holiday parties paid for by the company. So, once in a great while when something comes along that might be fun, I jump at the chance.

Today there was a video shoot and still shots taken for our new recruit brochure and Public Service Announcement. I was asked if I would like to pose as a "victim" (or customer, however you want to look at it, I guess) in a med unit. Being a camera ham and seeing a fun opportunity, I agreed.

Since I had on a sweatshirt that had a MFD patch on it, I turned it around on my body and climbed into a med unit. I had never been in one and hope I am never in one again, but it was cool. I posed with Josh, who is a paramedic and assigned to my division in Community Relations, and Jenny another paramedic assigned to the field. Josh, by the way, will be moving on in a week as he will be promoted to a paramedic lieutenant!

Josh hooked me up to an IV, Jenny took my blood pressure and hooked me up to the heart monitor and Darin, our AV guy, shot video and then stills.

I was suppose to look very sick. I think I did a great job! Ha! One of the 20 still shots Darin took (similar to the ones in in this post) will be on the front of the brochure. Boy - I can't wait to see how bad I look in the video!

This last picture was taken for laughs, although I am sure there might have been a few times that Josh wanted to strangle me!

Plugging Away

My boyfriend read Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth. It took him a while, but he loved it and refers to it as one of the best books he has ever read.

After he was finished he gave it to me to read. And, I have been reading, and reading, and reading.

I must say that I am enjoying it. All 973 pages. I'm currently on page 442. And, I will admit to glazing over part of it.

It is about a monk in the 1400s who builds a cathedral. Now that is a grand simplification. There are a dozen subplots and all of the characters are interesting. I am learning about the Middle Ages - its mason work and how these great cathedrals were built, the Church and its influence over every day life, politics of the time, what life was like for both the peasants and upper class, life on a monastery, etc. It was not an easy life not matter where you lived or what you did! Plus, there is a lot of violence, raping and just plain meanness going on. On the flip side, it also shows love between a man and a woman, love of family and love of God.

Since I started it I have read one other book (Dogs of Babel for my book club, which I recommend). I doubt that I will take another book break from it as I'm pretty caught up in it now that I'm almost half way through.

So, if you want to spend these long winter evenings reading a good book, I recommend this one. It will take you through to spring!

Oh, one more thing. I thought of listening to it on CDs in my car. Thirty-two CDs for the unabridged version! I'd have to drive to China and back!

Winter Pictures

In my attempt to appreciate winter more, I took pictures in my yard on December 29th. The next day I took a short trip to Cedarburg, WI and brought along my camera.

Cedarburg is a small, charming German town about 25 miles north of Milwaukee. My grandparents lived in this town in a house built by my Grandmother's grandparents. I have wonderful memories of Cedarburg and my grandparents (Oma and Opa). Cedarburg is a great place to shop and is host to many festivals throughout the year. It has grown, but has kept its old world charm.

Anyway, here are the pictures I took. The first few are from my garden, the rest are from Cedarburg.

Long Winter Nights

I don't do well in winter.

I have SAD (Seasonal affective disorder) to some extent. So did my Mom, so I guess I inherited it.

I try to be aware of it. I try not to let it affect me, but these long dark nights and cold days really do a number on me - my health, my emotions, my attitude - just everything.

I want to live in a climate where in winter I grab a light coat to go out - not a heavy coat, scarf, hat, mittens, warm socks and ugly shoe-like boot things to keep my feet dry.

I dislike getting up in the dark and coming home in the semi-dark. I dislike not being able to walk my dogs because of the cold (and salt on the sidewalks) and I don't feel safe walking them in the dark during the winter. Where are my flowers? Buried deep beneath the soil. I start to doubt if I will ever see them again!

I get so anxious. I get easily frustrated. My emotions run high and then low - I bounce all over the place. I shut down-figuratively and literally. I'm tired. Where's my cave? I put on (even more) weight. I cry a lot and am overly sensitive. Did I mention that I am so very tired? It is like my emotions are on a tight rope and I'm not doing a very good balancing act.

I want the sun. I've sick of snow and it's only the first month of winter. I'm sick of my shovel.

Although I get a lot of reading done, I lose energy and interest in other things. I have great plans for projects to do each winter and each winter I fail miserably at them - I rarely even start them.

I want to be left alone, yet I feel clingy.

I try to see the beauty in the season, and I do to a point. I enjoy the beautiful sunsets in winter, the fresh, crisp air, fresh snow on the trees. I like seeing kids playing, building snowmen, sledding. I love watching the birds at my feeder - stocking up before a storm.

Then the snow gets dirty and ugly. The streets are filthly, garbage piles up, my car is dirty all of the time. I hate it.

UGH! It is so frustrating.

I need sun. I need warmth. I need a long walk with Phil, with my dogs.

After this winter, only 2 more before I can retire. It can't come soon enough. After I retire I only want to see snow on calendar pictures.

More Books

As I mentioned in my last post, there were 19 books that were not chosen to be read by my book group in 2008. Of the 19 I have read 4 (Time Traveler's Wife, Anywhere But Here, Daughter of Fortune and The Thirteenth Tale) and have 1000 Splendid Suns (audio version) on the waiting list to get from the library.

Will I read the other 14? Don't know. I'm only familiar with a couple of them and I might read those. So unless I get any input on any others, I probably won't. The book I recommended, The Thirteenth Tale, didn't make the cut. It is a great book, unusual, somewhat Gothic. Sally recommended it to me and I loved it. Oh, well . . . it has a great website - http://www.thethirteenthtale.com/ - check it out!

Here is a list of the books not chosen:

Evil Genes by Barb Oakley
Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
Almost Moon by Alice Seybold
1000 Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Dante Club by M. Perle
The Most Wanted by J. Michard
Anywhere But Here by Mona Simpson
Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beach
Loving Frank by Nancy Horan
Bethlehem Road by Ann Perry
Farmboys by William Felloews
Being Dead by Jim Crace
Daughter of Fortune by Isabelle Allende
Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
Vegetable, Animal, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
The Most Famous Man in America by Debby Applegate
Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon
Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch

Enjoy!

Book Club

I belong to a Women's Book Group through my church http://www.uucw.org/


The group recently selected the books to be read in 2008. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend that night, but am happy with the books chosen. I've read 3 of them already so it should be an easy year.


I have either read or listened to: Saving Fish from Drowning by Amy Tam (excellent, I enjoy her books); Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See (grabbed at the airport on the way home from Costa Rica and glad I did!) and Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson (listened on CD - very funny and highly informative book about the Appalachian Trail).


I find the list includes one classic and a host of fantastic authors.

So, here is what I will be reading for sure the next year. Plus, all the books on CD and other recommendations. My next post will be of the books not chosen for 2008 - there are 19 of them. These women LOVE to read!


Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst
Plain Truth by Jodi Picout
Come Along with Me by Shirley Jackson
Lolita by Nabakov
Saving Fish from Drowning by Amy Tan
Pushing the Bear by Diane Glancy
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
1000 White Women by Jim Fergus
Walk in the Wood by Bill Bryson
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
Shattered Dreams by Irene Spencer

Wrapping Gifts (A Lesson in Frustration!)

I'm wrapping presents tonight.

Unfortunately, I'm terrible at it.

Luckily, I don't have too many to wrap!

Thank goodness for gift bags!!!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Still of the Night

Winter Solstice

Of all of the Earth-based holidays/celebrations, winter solstice is my favorite. Not only because of its closeness to the Christian celebration of Christmas, but because it means the return of the light. The end of the year, the birth of a new year. A time of hope, joy and peace.

The midwinter sun stays a little longer each day. The return of the sun light brings forth the moment of new beginnings.

For me it is a time of reflection, a time of hope, a fresh start to the new year. A time of knowing that the days are longer and having the sun light kiss my face.

Tonight it is snowing like crazy. I've just returned from Terri's house where I brought her a Middle Eastern birthday dinner (Happy Birthday, Terri - December 17th). The drive home was slippery and I am happy to be in my snug house, flannel pj's and drinking hot chocolate. The dogs are curled up on my lap and at my feet and I'm looking at the Christmas lights in my living room. My bird feeders are full so the birds won't be hungry in the morning. A new shovel is waiting for me on the front porch. Phil is with his daughter this weekend, but I know he is with me in spirit, as always.

I feel peaceful. I feel content. Solstice will be here in a few days. I will light candles and know that all is well, that all is well, that all is well.

May the circle open, but never be broken. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again. Happy Solstice every one.

For a cool website on Winter Solstice see http://www.candlegrove.com/solstice.html

They Don't Get Much Cuter

It's an auntie's right to brag - similar to that of a grandmother. So, here are 2 pictures of my youngest great-niece, Shannon Erin. One was taken in June and the other on December 1st.

I have another adorable great-niece, Cadyn, who lives in Atlanta and is equally as cute. I don't see her much, but here is one from last March, along with her, extremely handsome brother, Coggan.

Then there is Aaron, Shannon's 15 year old big brother, who avoid cameras like they are the plague. Here is one from last March with me.

Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas

A few years ago my church lady friend, Nikki, turned me on to this song by Dar Williams. I really like it and it helps to create a bridge between the Pagans and Christians during this holiday season. Enjoy! (Thank you Earth-Bound Spirit for walking me through the uploading video experience. Not quite sure how I did it after a dozen attempts, but this try worked!)

Flu Blues

I've had the flu.

It started on Tuesday when I woke up with a headache that just wouldn't go away. I felt fine otherwise, but no matter what I tried, the headache lingered.

That night I had the chills and a fever. The night was full of nightmares, groans, aches and pains. I worried about getting up to let the dogs out, I couldn't get warm, I was too hot. Horrible monsters chased me in dreams (so much for the "thriller" book I am reading - it came to life that night). Wednesday was spent in my jammies, thick socks, slippers, a bathrobe, blankets and since no matter what I did I couldn't get my hands warm, gloves. I was never up for more than an hour. I piled blankets on the bed, drink lots of liquids (mostly warm) and waited it out. I must admit, I have never slept in gloves before. I hope I never feel the necessity to do so again.



Phil was out of town and couldn't be with me. I knew he was worried. He had the same bugga bugga a few days before, so he had a pretty good idea of how miserable I was.



This morning was better. A shower is a wonderful thing! All of my bedding got washed and I felt a little more human. Phil came up for a few hours and gave me some much needed TLC. Tonight I am almost back to normal (whatever that is!).

Back to work tomorrow.

Let Me Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is here and I am filled with gratitude for so many things in my life. I am blessed with so much. When I think of all I am grateful for, my heart swells. So, I decided to count my blessings. And, although there are many more then listed below, here are a few.

• Philip. What can I say about this wonderful man? I've waited a lifetime and he is well worth the wait. He makes my heart sing. He is my greatest blessing.


• My family. Parents who truly loved me and did their best, which was pretty darn good. Two sisters who are loving and supportive. A small extended family that I try to keep up with. My "greats:" Aaron, Coggan, Cadyn and Shannon. How wonderful are they?
  
• My home. After 8 years it is still my place of safety and security and love. Every single day when I leave it or come home to it, I look at it with pride. I own a home.


• My dogs. They have taught me unconditional love and to take responsibility for a life other than mine. They make me laugh every day. Some people say dogs don't have souls. I beg to differ. Not only do they have souls, but they have helped me find mine.
  
• Friends. From Vicki, Beth and Shelley whom I have known since grade school to new friends I've made over the years. My church ladies, who are always an email away. Over the years I truly don't know what I would have done with them. Anne-Marie, who lives in another country yet we remain close. Friends I've made through my various work locations, like Nancy and Terri. Sally, my traveling gal pal and one of the few people I can talk to about anything and everything. Thank all of you for being there and hanging in there with me.


• Books. I love books. One of the greatest things about the United States is the library system. My life would be so empty without books. I can't remember not reading and appreciate the gifts of all the writers of every book in the world.


• A job I love. I can't say all of my almost 30-year career with the City of Milwaukee has been great, but I have never had to ask for a raise, I've had great health care and have had a very wide and varied amount of experiences. I've learned a lot. And, right now I have the best job I've ever had. I work with great, hard working dedicated people. All of whom I really appreciate.


• The ability to enjoy nature and all of Her beauty. I love my flowers and the birds at my feeders. I love seeing the sun rise over the roof tops and bell tower of St. Augustine's. I have seen and experienced Natures beauty from different parts of the world. The Earth's beauty is a great blessing for all of us, if we would just open our eyes and look.

I'm sure I will be adding to this list over the next few days. Some blessings I will keep to myself, though and continue to say a quiet prayer of thanks.

May all of you have the opportunity to sit down, be still, and count your blessings. I think you'll be surprised at how many you have.

Blessings and Chocolate Shakes

Every other Sunday I go to visit my Dad, who resides in a nursing home. Dad has Alzheimer's. Sometimes he remembers me, sometimes he doesn't. But, that's OK - he is well cared for, the home is outstanding and he is happy and cheerful. He is always glad to see me, and on a good day remembers who I am after a few minutes.


Dad's roommate is Don. I don't know much about Don. He has Parkinson's and has great difficulty talking. I know from the pictures on his wall that he has kids, but I have never seen him with a visitor.

Don, as well as all the other residents, love it when I bring my dog, Gracie, to see Dad. He also enjoys children and was thrilled when my nephew brought Dad's great-granddaughter, Shannon, to visit as a baby a year ago. I took Shannon, just a few weeks old, to Don and he gently touched her and smiled and laughed. He could not take his eye's off of her.

My sister, Sue, discovered last summer that Don loves chocolate and sweets in general. She had stopped at LeDucs (in Wales, WI) frozen custard stand and brought both Dad and Don a shake. Don was thrilled.

I go see Dad on Sundays in the morning, right before he goes to lunch. I plan it so that we have 45-60 minutes together before his lunch. When I go to see Dad I try to make the time to stop first at LeDucs. Sometimes I am pushing to get there before lunch and don't make the time to stop. Sometimes I forget. But today I remembered, gave myself enough time, and got a chocolate shake for Don and a strawberry shake for Dad.

Dad was sitting in his wheelchair in the hall when I arrived. Obviously, he didn't know who I was, but he smiled and agreed to sit in the sun room with me. I left him for a minute, walked down the hall and found Don nodding off in their room.

I lightly touched Don's shoulder and he looked up. I told him who I was and that I had a surprise for him. He smiled a little. I held up the white LeDuc's bag.

For a split second, for a tiny moment in time, I didn't see Don as an elderly man, in a wheel chair, ravished by Parkinson's, but as a 7 year old Don on Christmas morning or maybe seeing the best birthday present a 7 year old could imagine. His whole face changed, he smiled and beamed.

I pulled out the shake and he reached out for it before I had time to put the straw in it. I added the straw and I teased him by saying, "Don, the nurse might not like you having a shake before lunch - you'll ruin your lunch. He frowned a little and I continued, "But, I won't tell if you don't tell!" He beamed and I left him to enjoy it. He whispered a faint, "Thank you!"

I wheeled Dad to the sun room and give him his shake. After a couple of sips he said it was wonderful, but made him cold, so I went back to the room for a sweater. Don was totally enjoying his shake, his eyes shining.

Dad and I had a nice visit and I think that if he could, he would have happily licked the plastic cup the shake came in! He remembered who I was - at least for a few minutes. I wheeled him into the dining room for lunch and kissed him good bye. As I looked over, there was Don at another table struggling to eat jello. I went over to him and gave him a little hug and asked which flavor I should bring next time. He whispered, "strawberry."

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes in our busy lives, it is hard to see them. But, they are always there, probably more then we realize. Today for a blink in time I saw a 80+ year frial old man turn back into a 7 year old boy. All it took was a chocolate shake. Now that was a true blessing.

houses

Phil and I are looking for houses.

Not a house to share immediately, but a house we will retire to and live in for years and years to come.

Since I live in Milwaukee and he lives outside of Chicago and we are looking in the southeastern states, this can get confusing!

We have some specific criteria about the area we want to live in. It has to be in a golf community. It needs be on or near water. We need to be close to a major airport. The community at large should be progressive. There should be a mixture of "mature adults" and young families. We want things to do besides look at the water and golf, so we want it to be located close to a college or university and it should be a community that offers activities, clubs, events, etc.

We have some specific criteria regarding the type of house we want. Phil wants a large home, big enough for entertaining, something we both enjoy. I want everything I need all on one floor - with other bedrooms and guest areas away from the master bedroom. We won't be "downsizing" that's for sure! We want it to have a casual feel, with open space, windows that let lots of light in and a feeling that our guests can walk in, sit down and put their feet up. A large kitchen that we can both work in (since we enjoy cooking together) as well as others who want to help and a formal dining area in which to share these meals. A designated office space for Phil, an area of quiet space for me. Plenty of bathrooms and a large, social area for guests to enjoy on their own, away from the public area of the house. Whoosh! That's a lot, and not all. The lot has to be large enough for the dogs and for me to do serious gardening. Phil would like a pool (a pool on lake property?), and not too close to neighbors.

So far we have seriously considered the Asheville, NC area. While I love this area, Asheville and the mountains, Phil would like to be near water. His concern is that it might get too cold for me in the winter months (one more criteria - not months and months of cold, but a 4 season area).

I have just returned from Hilton Head with my friends Terri and Sally. It is a beautiful area. I looked at houses in the Hilton Head area including Wexford , Palmetta Dunes and Spanish Wells. While an ocean view would be great (saw 2 we could afford with beautiful views that would include dolphins swimming by), I worry about hurricanes and alligators (more inland). I fear that in the peak tourist months, Hilton Head would be like living in Wisconsin Dells or Door County. Too many people and too much traffic.

We seem to be gravitating towards southeast Georgia. We have found a large golf community, on a lake, within 75 minutes of the Atlanta airport. The people are very friendly, there is a lot to do within the plantation (a name these communities are called down south, which I really dislike). There are restaurants and stores all nearby. There are books clubs, golf clubs, discussion groups - a million different things to become involved with and the community promotes participation in several volunteer organizations such as Habitat for Humanity. There is ample shopping and medical centers close, a movie theater and it is close to several great small towns as well as Atlanta, Athens and Macon. Hilton Head is a drivable 3 1/2 hours away. Most important for Phil is that there are 5 golf courses within the plantation and more coming, as well as many more courses in the general area.

This is a big decision for us. With retirement just over 2 years away for Phil and just under 3 years for me, maintaining yet a 3rd house (at last for the next year or so) seems a little nuts. And, this is a HUGE commitment for both of us.

Yet, the closer we get to narrowing down the exact house we want, the more excited we become. We were down exploring this community over Labor Day Weekend and looked at a 6 or 7 houses. I went down during a visit to my sister's in Atlanta in October and looked at a 6 or 7 more homes, returning to one in particular.

Phil and I just returned from "President's Weekend" where potential buyers are invited down for a fully comped weekend. This was a very low key sales pitch event and we were treated extremely well, including 2 nights at the Ritz-Carleton. We enjoyed ourselves immensely. We looked at a few houses, 2 of which we have both seen before and seem to be zeroing in on one in particular. We met some great people and seemed to have developed a very good friendship with our real estate agent and his wife, as well as a couple of their friends. It seems like it will be a good fit. I will be in Atlanta with family over Thanksgiving and will return to the house we like once again to check out the some of the furnishing included with the house.

And despite finding one house we both like, I have plans spread out on my dining room table, just in case we decide to build!

What will we decide? Well, time will tell. The important thing is is that Phil and I are continuing to grow in our relationship and to building a life together. We are planning a home that is welcoming and a good space to be in. It will be filled with love and laughter and it will be a place we can turn to in times of need. It won't be my home in Milwaukee or his home in Chicago, but our home. How wonderful is that?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I got squished tonight.

In other words, I went in for my annual mammogram.

This to me is a no brainer. It takes a few minutes, is very uncomfortable while it is being done, but once it is done, you are good to go.

Breast cancer runs in my family. My mother had it, my cousin, Lavetta, died from it and my cousin, Peg, is a breast cancer survivor. My grandmother (on my Dad's side) also had breast cancer. When I was 25 I had a benign tumor removed from my right breast. From then on, I haven't missed an annual exam.

Funny thing is that my little dog, Gracie, just had surgery for breast cancer a week ago. Now you may think, "A dog?" But, yes, it's possible. One of her nipples was red and swollen. It was removed and the pathology report was Stage I breast cancer. Fortunately, the tissue that was removed around the cancerous tissue was clear. And, in 24 hours Gracie was back to normal. Both the vet and I will watch her carefully, but she should be just fine.

Men can also have breast cancer. Tonight, I asked the technician who performed my mammogram about it. She said she has done several mammograms on men. They are very embarrassed about it, but it is more common than people realize.

I have several women friends who are breast cancer survivors. They are all strong women - as anyone is who survives cancer. I'm proud of them as I am of my cousin, Peg.

My sister recently had her mammogram as well has the new ultrasound test for breast cancer detection. I asked the technician about the possibility of the ultrasound for me as well, since I am considered a high breast cancer risk (due to family history). She stated I should talk to my doctor, but it would probably be a good idea. When I go in for my yearly physical in a couple of weeks, that will be discussed and I will push to have it done.

All is this being pro-active when it comes to my health and well-being. A mammogram is quick and easy and bring me peace of mind.

If you are a woman and you are reading this, I hope you, too, have been "squished" this year! If not, you still have time! And, don't forget the monthly self exams!

Just Breathe

I have sleep apnea. What this means is that periodically during the night I stop breathing. For more information check out: http://www.sleepapnea.org/


I noticed the problem myself, as well as Phil. So, last July I went in for a sleep study. After being hooked up to wires on over 20 different places on my body from my head, arms, chest, legs and neck, I was expected to fall asleep while being monitored by a sleep technician. Funny as it may seem, I did fall asleep and slept pretty well. The technician told me that if I exhibited signs of sleep apnea, she would come in during the night and hook me up to a CPAP device. And, sure enough, I was woke up in the middle of the night and a CPAP was placed over my mouth and nose.

CPAP's come in different sizes and shapes. Most cover your nose and mouth and force air into you. This air forces the breathing passages to stay open while you sleep and you don't stop breathing.

Two weeks later I returned to the doctor for the results. According to the sleep study results, I stopped breathing while sleeping an average of 24 times per hour for more than 10 seconds at a time. I have a mild to moderate form of sleep apnea. The doctor told me of one patient that stopped breathing while sleeping over 84 times in an hour.

So, I now have a CPAP or breathing machine. It sits next to the bed and I hook myself up every night. It doesn't cover my mouth, as it fits into my nostrils. It's been an adjustment, but if I can keep in on all night, I do wake up feeling better, more refreshed and awake.

I was pretty shy about letting Phil see me wearing it for the first time. But, being the loving and supportive man that he is, he suggested I fall asleep with it on alone and he would come to bed later. It worked. We were still able to snuggle and he said it hardly makes any noise - a lot quieter than my gasping for breath during the night! He also teases me about sleeping with a scuba diver. Between my CPAP machine and my restless leg syndrome (for which I am on medication, http://www.rls.org/), I must be a real "joy" to sleep with!

Oh, well . . .

I'll see how this works, how difficult it is to haul on trips, etc. But, if it puts an end to my constant tiredness then it will be worth the long adjustment period.

Fall is in the Air

Autumn is officially here. The official fall equinox was in September, but more than that I can feel it in the air. Despite the warm temperatures of the last few weeks, there is a coolness there, too. I can also hear fall in the wind in the trees, the leaves making a more brittle sound. And, it just smells like fall. My flowers are fading and pumpkins are appearing in the stores.

And, today the cold weather really has set in. I yanked the window air conditioner out of my bedroom window and added another blanket to my bed. My heat is on and I'm in my flannel jammies.

But, you know how I tell autumn is arriving? It's the geese.

Late August/early September the geese start to flock together. While outside or walking the dogs, I hear them honking and look up to see their V formation. Even though most of the geese around here don't fly south, they still follow their instincts to form the V formation and call out to each other

I happen to be a fan of geese. They have a lot of great attributes. To me the best is that they mate for life. It's seems to me that if geese can mate for life, we should be able to do the same. They also assist each other with the raising of their young. What a concept!

According to Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small by Ted Andrews the "goose epitomizes the mystery of migration. They constantly shift formation, creating wind drafts and easier flights for those behind them in the formation. This reminds us that as any one individual makes his or her quest, it becomes easier for others to do so as well."

Andrews also points out that by not flying directly behind each other the "goose's view is unobstructed, reminding us that we should not undertake any quest in life without having a full view of what it entails. In this way the journey is facilitated for others."

There is also symbolic meaning in the V formation as it "reflects by its shape an opening to new possibilities."

And while I'm not happy about the amount of goose poop in local parks and other areas, I still enjoy watching them fly and hearing them honk. I love watching them swim with their young in the spring.

There are other signs of autumn, too. But for me, the flight of the geese is the surest sign of all.

Rain, rain go away

OK - I realize we needed rain. My grass was brown, my flowers
drooping. But, enough already!

I hate getting up on dreary days. Can't wear sandals as my feet get wet and cold. The a/c is on at work and it is FREEZING. Can't walk the dogs as it is RAINING and they HATE being out in the rain so they are restless. When the dogs do go out to go potty, they come in wet and track it in my kitchen. My house smells like wet dog. My basement gets wet. Driving is bad in the rain. Everyone has bad hair days when it rains. Everyone gets crabby when it rains. It's Monday and it's raining. I can't get out to check out my yard, flowers, tomatoes, etc. I can't find my umbrella or I leave it someplace when I need it. There are people losing their homes and businesses to the rain and flooding. Worms are on the sidewalk when it rains and they are gross. My grass will be 2 feet high by the time the rain finally stops and it will be difficut to mow.

Jeez.

No sun equals depressed Julie Ann.

It is suppose to rain all week.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Quiet Time

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at work this week!

It is a very busy time for us and I know that I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed and terribly busy.

To top it off I've been experiencing eye strain while looking at the computer all day. Time to check out the drug store reading glasses. Jeez.

I have lived alone most of my adult life. Now, in a committed relationship, I truly enjoy the time I spend with Phil. Since he lives over 70 miles from me, we are not together 24/7, but do spend considerable time with each other. I love it, because I love him. I truly enjoy his company. He is my best friend, confidant, and lover. I am looking forward to spending a lifetime with him.

Phil will be out of town this weekend. While I will miss him terribly, I am looking forward to a weekend by myself. I have books to read for my book club, HGTV to watch, dogs to walk, flower beds to tend, a massage scheduled - my days will be full and my evenings quiet. Sunday I'm planning a "bumming" afternoon with a gal pal in a small town filled with quaint stores and antique shops.

So my weekend will be busy, but also quiet and I will be able to do as much as I want or absolutely nothing. I will have "alone" time, which I need every few months.

Sounds wonderful.

(But, don't be gone too long, Gotti)

Church Ladies

About 15 years ago, while attending my UU church, I took a curriculum entitled, "Cakes for the Queen of Heaven." It was approximately 10 weeks of exploring the aspect of the feminine in the divine. Afterwards, I really wanted this same type of connection with other UU women, so I started a Women's Spirituality Group at church.

This was a great group of women. We met monthly and shared our stories and each seeked out her own individual spirituality. Two of our members decided to facilitate the next curriculum which sprang from "Cakes", entitled "Rise Up and Call Her Name." And, it is from this group, that my wonderful "church ladies" sprang. And, while the Women's Spiritually Group ended 10 years ago, the church ladies are still going strong.

Saturday night we met at my house for Lammas. We try to meet 5 or 6 times a year, loosely following the Earth-based holidays. From the original Rise Up group of 6 or so "core" members. We meet at each other's houses and share ritual, stories and food. We ebb and flow together.

Held together by an internet group, most of our communication is done via email. While most of us live in the greater Milwaukee area, Nikki has moved back home to California, Miki to the Detroit area, Sally to western Michigan. Shannon lives in Missouri and has never attended our gatherings, but still is a part of us. We have been joined by several new woman lately and they are welcomed into the circle.

We have seen each other through births, deaths, moves, divorces, commitments, grandchildren, child rearing, returning to school, additions, and everything in between.

Personally, I cannot even begin to express what this group of women mean to me. They have loved me and supported me, cared and nurtured me and kept me afloat during the worst moments of my life. They share my secrets, joys, loves, dreams and hopes. They laugh with me and cry with me.

What made this weekend even more special is that Sunday night I was able to meet up with Amy and Shannon. They could not attend our recent gathering as they were at a retreat. I drove down to Illinois and shared a quick dinner with them, along with Amy's lovely daughter, Lexie and her son, Nathaniel. I haven't seen Shannon in 2 years and it was great to see her. And, it is fun to see Lexie grow into a beautiful young woman.

So, here's to my church ladies! I love each and every one of you. Ya'll are one of the best blessings of my life.

Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again. The circle is open, but never broken. Blessed be.