BURRRR: Thoughts on my dogs and quilting on a cold winter day

It is cold outside.

My dogs go out, go potty and run back in. No sniffing, no poking around. The doggie door on the outer porch door gets very stiff in the cold and little Gracie has a hard time pushing it with her head to get in the porch and, therefore, back into the warmth of the house. Lucy Lou, on the other hand, gives it a good shove and strolls on in. I notice that Gracie waits for Lucy Lou when she can and catches the door once Lucy Lou is through it. However, this morning she wanted back in and pawed at the stiff plastic door until she got through it. Poor pup.

Yesterday Phil and I picked up my "doggie" themed lap quilt made for my doggie sitter, Mary Sue. It is a very simple, large block quilt I sewed together in less than 5 hours and took in to have professionally quilted. I'll post pictures when Mary Sue comes to pick it up. Late yesterday afternoon after Phil when back to Illinois, I machine sewed the binding on to the front of the quilt.

As I settled in last evening to start hand stitching the binding to the quilt back I decided to bring in the latest book on CD I am listening to in my car. There is nothing worth watching on TV and I wanted some noise in the background. I'm not much of a listener to music when I am alone and the TV is off, preferring the quiet. But, last night I wanted sound.

What a delightful evening I had! The lap quilt was spread out on me, keeping me very warm. Gracie jumped up and snuggled in under the quilt as I stitched, adding another layer of warmth. Lucy Lou was in her basket snoring gently and I listened to my book. It is Time is a River by Mary Alice Monroe, another good Southern female writer. (I really like Southern women writers). I'm enjoying it.

I like my own company. I like keeping busy when alone, which is one reason quilting has become so important to me. I'm being creative while making things that are useful. During the daylight hours I do the cutting and sewing of the quilt pieces, watching the blocks accumulate and the quilt pattern appear. I enjoy the quiet of my home, watching the birds at the feeders from a couple of different windows, stopping to rub the bellies of the dogs or play with them, cooking simple meals. Piecing together scraps of fabric that turn into something beautiful.

Now I have discovered another pleasure for the evenings. When I want a little company, while hand stitching at night, there is always a book on CD awaiting to be discovered.

Ahh, another simple pleasure.

Baby, Baby Part Two

Last weekend while in Georgia my sister, Sue and I met up with Ed and Libby. Ed is our real estate agent at Reynolds Plantation where Phil and I will be buying property this year. Not only is he our real estate agent, but both Ed and Libby are turning into our good friends as well. Ed and Libby will be grandparents very soon.

As I had posted previously, here is pictures of them with the baby quilt I made. They seemed to love it although they had not had a very close look at it!!!! Anyway, I am thrilled with the quilt and the fact that they like it.

This, to me, is what quilting is all about.

Something Sparkly

My very loving, Philip, gave me a cute snowman pin and a top of the line GPS system for Christmas and well as some money with the instructions to, "buy yourself some sparkly while you are in Georgia for the holidays."

Now, usually this would not be hard for me to do. And, since my sister, Suzanne, and I have been shopping in stores within a 200 mile radius of her house, you think by now I would have found something sparky. And, I have looked.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to look at it) we have been to many quilting stores in our travels. And, I have bought material. One pattern is gem colored dragon flies that I will turn into something for a bed and I bought a blue and white patterned quilt kit that will make up into a "china plates" lap quilt.

But today, while in Marietta at the Red Hen Quilt shop I found beautiful, slightly Asian inspired, dragon fly material with matching green and gold material. Very soft, very pretty and elegant. This is exactly the material I have been looking for to make a king size quilt. The quilt will be used in the house that Phil and I will be building. I bought over 11 yards of it, plus 4 yards of each of the coordinating materials. Well, I'm figuring the quilt, pillows, etc. for our master bedroom. And, the material does have a slight gold thread running through it. There's the sparkle.

I find this a little scary. Spending my "holiday" gift money on something other than a nice piece of jewelry or even shoes?

As I said in previous posts, I am hooked on quilting. This trip proved it!

An Odd Christmas In Deed

I'm in Suwanee, GA, which is outside of Atlanta, spending the Christmas holiday with my sister, Sue, and her family. Those around the dinner table on the 25th will include 4 UU's, one Pagan and one Jew. Should be a hoot!

In any event, I am out of Wisconsin and today it will be 60 degrees here. Sue and I are driving up to a little mountain town to do some last minute shopping. I won't have boots on or a scraf, mittens or a hat. It's wonderful.

Phil is back in Illinois, sick with the flu and buried under snow. I am worried sick about him, but his kids are with him and he is going into the doctor today.

My doggie sitter, Mary Sue, has already paid a neighborhood kid twice to shovel my sidewalks. Oh, well . . .

I'll be back on Sunday. Maybe.

Baby, Baby

Here is my first ackward attempt at making an actual quilt. It is a baby quilt, made for friends of ours who will become first time grandparents in late January. Obviously, it's a girl!

I pulled the quilt pattern off the web. I guess it is the "furrows" 4 square pattern (based on the furrows you see in fields). I think it turned out very cute, if you don't look too closely! It was professionally quilted by Kathy Holz.

I am just finishing a twin size quilt of the same pattern only in purple.

To the right is the backing of the quilt. I hope Ed and Libby like it!

Tea for Two

One of my very favorite things to do when I visit Anne-Marie in Ireland is sit around her kitchen table, drink tea (Lyons tea) and talk. So, once I started quilting and went overboard on my first project, table runners, I had to make Anne a tea theme table runner. Then I thought, "What the heck, I'll make her a tea cozy to match!"


I posted the runner and tea cozy to Anne last week. Hopefully, she will get it in time for Christmas and she will not open this blog until she receives the package.














The tea cozy is slightly lopsided. That's OK. I know Anne will get a kick out of it. I pulled a pattern off the Internet, but in the end I just traced the tea cozy I purchased on our trip to Scotland in 2007. To the right is a picture of the backing and you can see the quilting. I had it professionally quilted by Kathy Holz.

So, Anne-Marie - keep the kettle warm. You may see me sooner than you think!


Enjoy!

Things I have (or haven't done)

My friend, EarthboundSpirit, posted this on her blog. You are suppose to "bold" the things you have already done in your life. Well, here goes:

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when not ill (guess that secret's out)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (maybe in my soft ball playing years)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (for about a split second)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke (when I was drunk)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (back in June - car accident)
47. Had my portrait painted (sketched by a dear woman friend who is an artist)
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching (one of my great wishes)
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (I was very young)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
77. Been on a speeding motorcycle
78. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
79. Published a book
80. Visited the Vatican
81. Bought a brand new car
82. Walked in Jerusalem
83. Had my picture in the newspaper
84. Read the entire Bible (read big chuncks, but not all)
85. Visited the White House
86. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
87. Had chickenpox
88. Saved someone's life
89. Sat on a jury (three times!)
90. Met someone famous
91. Joined a book club
92. Lost a loved one (only too recently)
93. Had a baby
94. Seen the Alamo in person
95. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
96. Been involved in a law suit (if divorce counts)
97. Owned a cell phone
98. Been stung by a bee
99. Ridden an elephant

Let Me Give Thanks

This Thanksgiving I plan to spend the next 4 days at home, alone and in my pajamas.

The fall has been a roller coaster ride of events and emotions for me and those around me. I'm tired, I'm weary and I need my 4-day holiday to step back, reflect and recoup! Soon I will haul out my quilting, which has been put aside for a couple of weeks, and start sewing to my heart's content.

My father died November 18th. Although I mourn his loss and miss him, at age 90 with Alzheimer's and unable to walk, it was his time. He wanted to live to be 90 and he made it with several months to spare. I believe he is now reunited with my mother, his love for over 61 years, as well has his family and friends. He is in heaven, strong and healthy and singing love songs in Mom's ear.

Dad went into hospice care in September. The fall was spent going to work and 1-2 days a weeks (as well as at least once during the weekend) traveling out to see Dad and feed him his lunch. I thank goodness for the Family Medical Leave Act which allowed me to take precious time from work to do this. I am also grateful for the fire department for which I work for understanding my need to be with Dad in the day time hours, when he was most aware. I am actually looking forward to returning to work Monday and starting the week without plans to leave during the day! I crave "normality" whatever that is!

Yet the last 2 months with Dad, even though most of the time he didn't know me and slowly lost his ability to move, talk and sing, I have felt the closest to him. I have always said I was blessed with the best parents in the world. It's true.

Philip has also been dealing with his father. At age 86 he needed more care and attention. At one point, Phil went out to New York five weekends in a row to make arrangements with his siblings to move his father into an assisted living facility. Phil's parents lived in the same Long Island home for over 54 years. The slow process of cleaning out the house has begun. It has been a stressful and sad process for Phil. Even though this meant our time together has been limited between dealing with our father's, it has brought us closer as we are sharing the same thoughts and emotions.

I was suppose to spend this Thanksgiving week in Atlanta with my sister and her family. This, of course, all changed when Dad died. Philip rearranged some of his plans to be with me and my family and now, this Thanksgiving week, will undergo medical tests that should have happened last week. The tests are hell, but we are very optimistic as to the outcome. Next weekend he travels back to New York to spend time with his father, who is not adjusting well to assisted living. While my sister and brother-in-law still welcomed me to travel to Atlanta with them after the funeral, I knew we all needed this time to relax and process the events of the past couple of weeks.

After Dad's memorial service Phil did spend a few days in Oklahoma with his daughter and son-in-law who are expecting their first baby (Phil's first grandchild!). Phil painted the baby's room, put up a chair rail and a panda bear wall mural. I am thankful Phil did this and spent time with Colleen and Rick. I know working on the baby's room brought this tender hearted man great joy. Now he is home this Thanksgiving day, preparing for his tests which start tomorrow.

Phil and I have postponed several things we planned this fall until later this winter. We need the time to relax and get into our routines again. We both have other family issues we will be dealing with in the next couple of months and need time to process. It's OK. We are a strong couple and know that this time will bring us even closer together than pull us apart. Plus, we have a baby to look forward to in late March!

Life is full of the good and the bad times. I'm remembering both this long weekend. It's OK and what I need to do this weekend. For all the sad things that happened these past few months, behind all of them are wonderful memories. I am so grateful for these memories. So very grateful.

My Achin' Back!

It's been quite a few years since my back has hurt me this much. This time it started with a "stitch" like feeling on my left hip. I went to the doctor's office on Monday where he took X-Rays, did lab work, ruled out a kidney infection and lectured me on my scoliosis and offered me pain meds. I declined the meds thinking I could tough it out. Silly me.

The pain had been waking me up for the past 3-4 nights. Every time I wanted to change positions shots of pain occurred in my left hip area. Then it started spreading to my tummy and lower back. OUCH!

Wednesday afternoon I took a few hours of vacation time to deliver some specially ordered pants to my Dad's health care facility. By the time I got home the pain was so intense I called urgent care and managed to drive myself to the clinic.

Now I'm home and going crazy. I am on a muscle relaxer and pain killer so when I take my meds I sleep. Because I am not as mobile as I should be I am starting to get sore. I can't win no matter what position I'm in. OUCH!

This has been a rough year on my health. I've missed more days this year than in the past 3 or 4 combined. All legitimate. I one of those people who feel that when you are sick, stay home. So far I've been off 2 full days with this back problem. It is now Saturday night and it's not much better.

I'll go to work on Monday, but if I'm in pain it's off to the doctor once again

Quilting Frenzy

I'm a little obsessed with quilting! This is the first item, a table runner, I ever made. Don't look closely - it is full of mistakes, but I think it turned out OK.

I have started my second quilting class this fall. We are making a "Buckeye Beauty" wall hanging. I have the same wonderful instructor, Diane, and the only other classmate is Lisa, with whom I took my first class with. I look forward to these classes and getting to know Diane and Lisa while we cut, square off, sew and rip!!!!

Below are pictures of the results of my first quilting class, where we learned how to make table runners. I made seven table runners! Most will be holiday presents, but two will be for myself. I used the "stitch in the ditch" method for quilting the runners below. Two runners are being professionally quilted at this time - the only way to go for me at this point. I hated the "stitch in the ditch" method.

In between making the table runners, I made a baby blanket to be given to friends of ours (Phil and I) who are becoming grandparents for the first time. That, too, is being professionally quilted. It was an easy project, but I still did a lot of ripping out! I learned by making it and I think the end result (after quilting and binding) will be darling. And, since Phil will be a grandpa in late March/early April, I have plans to make another baby quilt!

In the meantime, I also have the squares all cut out for a twin size quilt (216 squares!) as well as the material purchased for two queen sized quilts. However, my 30+ year old Kenmore sewing machine died on me. I am a little sticker shocked at the costs of new machines. While I know I will be quilting for years to come, right now I can't justify the cost of a really good brand machine, which start in the $700 range for a basic machine. Even a lesser brand, basic machines start in the $200-300 price range. And, I need one by the weekend to get my class project done and start to sew the twin sized quilt together. Oh, well . . . I guess I can learn hand quilting!

"Coffee" themed runner, front & back (notice little coffee beans on the back fabric). I made two runners like this. One I am still hand stitching the binding on.

Wine/grape table runner with "cork" fabric backing. Turned out a little too green, but, again, I learned from it.

Seasonal table runner with matching backing

Yet another quiz

Thanks to Earthbound-Spirit for another fun quiz. Been a while since I've done one of these, but it was fun. Try it!

Your result for The 4-Variable IQ Test...

Verbal

10% interpersonal, 35% visual, 40% verbal and 15% mathematical!

Your strongest type of intelligence is Verbal. You thrive on words, word games, and languages in general. I'm feeling insecure as I write this, because you are reading it. You see, language demands a certain level of recursive thought, and, as someone who just scored highly on it, I'm guessing you already noted the intentional dangling modifier I just put in this sentence. Didn't you? Smarty pants. 4-eyes.

Your specific scores follow. On any axis, a score above 25% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 25% means you use it less. It says nothing about cognitive skills, just your interest.

Your brain is roughly:

10% Interpersonal

35%Visual

40%Verbal

15%Mathematical

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice to the world.

1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 20%.

2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 25%.

3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 50%.

Take The 4-Variable IQ Test at

One Good Thing About Fall

I love this candy and can eat it by the pound. Ahhh, there is nothing like a good "sugar high!"

As quickly as it is on the shelves this time of the year, it is gone - disappearing around Thanksgiving, so get it while you can.

Gobble, gobble. (More like Oink, oink!)

Quilting

I’ve always been interested in and loved handmade quilts. When I was in my 20s I tried a quilting class, but found it too frustrating. I didn’t have the patience to be so accurate and precise. It was a large class and I didn’t receive the individual help I needed. So, I dropped the class and all hopes of ever quilting and went on to enjoy them from afar.

When I was married, Bill and I took a trip out east and while in Lancaster, PA where we drove down country lanes until we found an Amish farm where the lady of the house sold quilts. We bought one – a bear claw pattern – all hand stitched. It’s beautiful. I haven’t used it in years, but it is carefully packed away safe and sound. On my many trips to Georgia my sister and I have found a place that sells beautiful locally made quilts for very reasonable prices and I have considered purchasing one or two of them over the years.

Recently I became interested in making quilts again. I know there are all new methods of cutting the material, sewing the squares, piecing, etc. I found a small, friendly quilt store outside of Cedarburg, WI and signed up for a beginning class.

I’m enjoying it. There is only one other woman in the class so we get great assistance from the instructor, Diane. She is very patient and helpful and the class is fun. We are making a table runner. While I’m not happy about my choices of fabric (they looked good at the time), I am enjoying the process. And, while I feel like I am doing more ripping out than sewing together, I’m not frustrated by my lack of precision. I am looking at it as a learning experience.

During this time of stress, with Dad dying, Phil’s father ill, family issues, etc., I’m finding even the process of ripping apart my many lopsided squares is soothing. My hands are busy and I feel like I am creating something of worth. Slowly, but surely I am getting more and more accurate (a quilting foot on my sewing machine made a huge difference).

And, I have started several more table runners as holiday presents for some of my gal pals, in materials I really like. Ha! I hope they do, too!

I have signed up for the next level class in Cedarburg and am on the waiting list for another class at a quilt store closer to home. I love looking and touching all of the different fabrics, imagining putting colors and fabrics together and dreaming of someday snuggling under a quilt I made with Phil .

Sometimes things you really want to do or try need to be put on hold. Almost 30 years later I am starting something I think I will pursue for a long time. It was worth the wait!

Dragonfly Miracles

Yesterday I looked out my back hallway window to check on Lucy Lou, who was sunning her old doggie bones in the late afternoon sun. I noticed something(s) flying and buzzing around my yard. I went outside and found dozens of dragonflies in the air.

It must just be the time of year. The dragonflies where the huge, double winged, green species. They were beautiful. Upon closer notice I could see little white insects also flying around, which were dinner for the dragonflies. The dragonflies darted, they hovered, they flew backward and I even saw one do a perfect triple somersault. Those poor little gnats didn’t stand a chance to these flying aces. The other amazing thing is that they basically stayed in my little yard. Occasionally one flew over into the neighbor’s yard, but flew back into mine again.

Dragonflies have held a special place in my heart ever since Phil gave me a beautiful dragonfly pendent (which he thought was a butterfly). They seem to be messengers for me (us) and when I see them I believe they bring good energy. You can check out their animal/insect totem by clicking here. There have been times in our relationship when I was worried about Phil or concerned about where we were headed and I would see a dragonfly and know that all would be well. And, it is.

I stood outside for a long time, smiling as the dragonflies zoomed all around me. Even Lucy Lou watched them, her ears pointed and alert. We both laughed with amazement, Lucy Lou with a silly doggie grin and me laughing at the thrill of all those dragonflies.. Phil was here and he came out for a while to watch them, too. It was truly an incredible sight to see and experience. I’m glad Phil experienced it with me.

In a short while they were gone.

Today I left work early (thank goodness for FMLA time) and went out to see my Dad. I got there early enough to feed him lunch, which the aides appreciate as they are always are busy at meal time. Afterwards I put a blanket on his lap and a hat on his head and Dad and I went out to enjoy a beautiful September day. I wheeled him all the way down to the Bark River, which runs through the property his health facility is on. We sat and watched the water flow, the birds fly and the trees move in the breeze. I knew Dad enjoyed being outside with me. There were dragonflies all along the banks of the river. Many different kinds, but none like the ones I had seen the night before in my own backyard.

I tried to show him the dragonflies, but I don't think he could move his head or eyes enough to see them. I told him about the beautiful experience I had with the dragonflies in my yard. His eyes flickered a little. His speech is almost incomprehensible, but he tried to talk. Maybe he understood. I'd like to think he did.

I hope when Dad passes it is on the wings of a dragonfly, the light creatures of the air.

Letting Go

My father is now is hospice care. He has been for a few weeks now.

I thought increasing his care to include hospice would be more difficult that it was. The social worker, Jenny, was very caring and understanding. She went over all of the details with me. I signed lots of forms (my sister’s and I have Power of Attorney and Power of Health) and she explained what this would mean to my Dad’s general care.

He will stay in the same room he is currently in. The same nurses will care for him on a daily basis. Hospice workers, very familiar with the facility, will come in and give additional care – adding to what he is already receiving. There are additional support people – nurses, various therapists including a music therapist, social worker, Chaplin, etc.

My Dad is now 90 with Alzheimer’s. In May and June he had a couple of seizures, which affected his ability to control his tremors, especially in his hands and arms. More recently, there have been times where his arms move in a “flapping” motion. His right leg jerks almost constantly. He has gone down hill rapidly, especially since his 90th birthday on July 23.

The main hospice nurse, Jay, calls me several times a week. He has been around for years at the health care center where Dad is and got to know him well before his decline. He is shocked and sad to see Dad in his current condition. He feels Dad doesn’t have too much time left, but wants him to be more comfortable. Jay has been adjusting Dad’s meds to get his muscle to relax and the spasms to cease. Now, these nurses know what they are taking about. This is their job and they understand the signs of decline in elderly people. My Dad has always been somewhat of a favorite with the staff. He was very personable, friendly, easy going and willing to do things. Plus, he loves to sing and use to sing to them which they all enjoyed.

So, I don’t question that my Dad needs additional care and that his time is limited. And, more importantly, I know that the staff really cares about him and he receives excellent care.

When all this started happening I went out there one morning. Patti, one of the regular nurses, stopped me . ‘Beware,” she said, “he is really having a bad day.” I stood frozen outside his door. He was sitting in his wheelchair, mouth hanging open, his arms outstretched and “flapping.” I couldn’t go in. I muffled a sob and walked down the hallway. Patti steered me to the social worker’s office where I cried and cried.

But it is OK to do that. Now that I am over the shock of what a bad day could be, I able to once again spend time with him. Talk to him, sing to him (he will still try to sing with me if he is alert), stroke his hands and arms, face and head. Just be with him.

That’s all I can do.

All Tuckered Out

I had planned to spend Sunday afternoon puttering around happily in my garden. I had put my sister, Suzanne, on a plane back to Atlanta that morning. We had a great visit and I enjoyed her company immensely, but I was looking forward to getting my house back and to a quiet afternoon with my dogs and my flowers.

I had a little plumbing problem, so my nephew came over to fix it. It took 3o seconds. Duh! He had 20 month old Shannon, my great niece, along. He mentioned that Shannon's mom was working that afternoon and he and Shannon would be doing errands all afternoon. I looked at little Shannon and felt she shouldn't be dragged in and out of a car on such a beautiful afternoon , so I volunteered to watch her for a couple of hours.



Oh, silly me.


Now, for a toddler, Shannon is very good and very sweet. She talks, she laughs, she plays well and thank goodness, she kept her diaper clean for those couple of hours!


She also loves dogs.


Lucy Lou stayed as close to me and as far away from Shannon as possible. I couldn't believe how she squeezed behind my chair when Shannon approached. But, I don't think Lucy Lou would ever nip or try to bit Shannon.


Gracie, on the other hand, has on previous occasions nipped at Shannon - always missing her, thank goodness. However, on this day Gracie was in a better mood and after 937 times of reminding Shannon to stay away from the doggies, it all worked out.


My house isn't exactly child proofed, either. However, Shannon left most things alone. We spent a lot of time outside watching the birds, looking at flowers, playing with a balloon that had floated into my yard. We ate blueberries and had juice. We counted as we went up and down and up and down and up and down my staircase. She can now count to 13! Well, maybe she misses a few digits in between. I marveled at her sense of wonder, how everything was new to her. She loved watching the birds take a drink at the bird bath and giggled with delight when one took a bath. She repeated the color of the flowers and laughed when a snapdragon flower kissed her nose.


When her mom, Pam, came to pick her up I was ready for her to go. Pam suggested we all order pizza and that Patrick join us. NOOOOOOOO! I told her I had a ton of stuff to do (which I did) that I didn't get done with Shannon around. So, we each ordered our own pizzas and off they went.


And I fell exhausted into my recliner. Whoosh! I was toppled by a toddler! I was tired! I realized the last time I watched a child her age for any length of time was when I watched her father at that age. He is now 34. Do the math.


The main reason I never had children of my own is because at the time I should have been having kids I had no patience. None. I knew I could never be the type of mother I would have wanted to be. Older now and with some patience, I wonder how I would do if I would have had the patience I have at 52 when I was 32. I still don't think I have enough, but I did very well with Shannon. Although there were no tears, no screams, no accidents. That made a big difference on how I enjoyed our time together. And, I did enjoy being with her.

Shannon can come and stay with me again. For 2 hours. Maybe in a month or so when I recover.

Happy Nine-Oh, Dad!

On July 23, 2008 my Dad turned 90 years of age! On the 26th we gathered at the health care center where he lives to celebrate.

Above and to the right are his daughters - me, Suzanne & Linda and on his lap is great-granddaughter, Shannon Erin.

Above and to the right are his grandson Patrick and great-grandson, Aaron (Shannon's big brother)

Dad was confused (he has Alzheimer's), but once we got him outside he recognized his daughters (!), sang, enjoyed Shannon and had a good time. Therefore, so did we.

Afterwards, we all went out to lunch (minus Dad) and had a very nice time. Amazing!

Here are some additional pictures of Shannon. I know it was Dad's day, but she is just so darn cute! And, one of me, Aaron and Shannon

Spoiled Rotten

My sister, Suzanne, has always said that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, she would like to come back as a spoiled American house dog.

I tend to agree.

That's my Gracie, with whom I made the huge mistake of letting her sleep with me in the bed. Poor Lucy Lou. By the time I got Lucy Lou I had learned my lesson. She has a nice, comfy doggie bed on the floor next to where Gracie and I sleep.

Notice I said, "Gracie and I?" This 10 pound dog takes up 3/4s of the bed. I kid you not! Plus, she likes to stretch out, jabbing her legs in my back. And, since she insists on sleeping facing the door (to protect me from any intruders who might wander into my bedroom, I have no doubt) I get to experience the oh, so NOT thrill of rolling over in the middle of the night to face a dog butt!

Most nights she starts off wanting to sleep under the covers, curled up next to me. I will admit, on cold winter nights it feels good. I don't understand how she can breathe under there. More than once I have woken up in the middle of the night to Gracie crawling and pawing her way out of the covers, gasping for breath.

 

The Water is Wide

Did you ever hear a song and/or melody that haunts you and you can't find the name of the song or who wrote it? During my life time I have heard two such songs. One I found the name to very quickly. It is the Ashokan Farwell by Jay Unger. This lovely melody was widely used during the PBS series The Civil War. Most people might think it was written during the Civil War, but it wasn't and there is a very interesting story behind it. However, that's another post and you can google Jay Unger if you wish.

I probably heard the music to The Water is Wide in my teens. It took me until my 40s to finally learn the name to the music. It is an traditional Irish or Scottish song, probably brought over here in the 1700s. Even more so than Ashokan Farwell, this melody lingers on my mind. There are several videos below of the song embedded below, some with great slide shows which really compliment the song perfectly. However some versions are over 4 minutes, so, it back and enjoy.

One more thing, the both the Water is Wide and Ashokan Farwell are waltz's and I would love to dance to one of them at my wedding.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the Serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference

Seems there is a dispute about who originally wrote this very simple, very powerful prayer which you can read the article by clicking on the link at the bottom of this post.

However, after a friend sent me the article, it got me thinking. Not about the dispute. That doesn't matter to me. But, about how important those 27 little words are to me.

Having sat through dozens of 12-step meetings where this prayer has been discussed in detail, picked apart and analyzed, it is amazing to me how important and meaningful each line of the prayer is to me and to others, as well. In my opinion, it is far and above any other prayer ever written and/or used today. It is short. It is simple. It is easy to remember. And, if used with all sincerity, it works.

You might remember by post of a couple of months ago when I wrote about prayer in my life. Seems I had a mind dump at the time and completely forgot about the Serenity Prayer. Duh. So, now I will back track and pick it apart myself, as I understand it. Here goes:

God grant me the serenity

Who doesn't want serenity? At some point in time we all crave it, want it and wonder where it is in our life. However, in order to truly find serenity, I must deal with all that is going on around me and find that right "place" in my mind and heart to be serene. Not as easy as it sounds. Yet, it can be found. On more and more occasions I find it - usually in nature and it other places, too. And, if I use this prayer as I should, I find it more and more.

To accept the things I cannot change

Ok - this is soooo hard. I'm a controlling person. Not a control freak, but I do have issues with control. So for me to say, "OK - this is what is happening. I can't alter what is going on so I will step back, let it go is like pulling all of my teeth. Since I tend to believe I am always right (until proven otherwise, which happens a lot!), I want things to go my way. Oh, acceptance - - - how difficult you are! Yet, this prayer, as a whole, helps me to find that acceptance.

The courage to change the things I can

I'm don't believe this means the type of courage it takes to run into a burning building to save a child. I'm believe these words are more personal. I believe I can basically only change myself. Yes, I can change my curtains, change my residence, change my job, but I can't change other people (as much as I would like to). To change myself take courage. To right a wrong I did or a flaw within me takes courage. I use to think I was an "afraidy cat." Afraid of all kinds of things. Once, while talking my friend, Sally, I told her this. She stared at me with a stunned look on her face. She then said, "Girl, you have supported yourself all your life. You have cleaned up your act when you stopped drinking, got out of an unhappy marriage, bought a 116 year old house, travel like crazy when you can and basically take care of yourself very well. Look at all you have done. You can't be "afraid" and do all that." That was a verbal slap upside the head. She was right. It took courage for me to realize that I wasn't afraid to take risks, to take leaps of faith. It all takes courage.

And the wisdom to know the difference

Aha! This is the kicker. The wisdom to know the difference. This is the hardest. To recognize what battles to fight, what steps to take, what decisions to make - whoosh! To know when to hang in there and when to walk away - it's hard! The courage to accept or to accept the courage to act? But, slowly, very slowly, by using this prayer the answers, the wisdom, will always come, if I am listening

I have seen and heard many variations of this prayer. There all the same - the meaning and intent is always the same. I even have a Pagan version written down some place. But it really doesn't matter if the words vary a little. If used, it works. At least for me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/11/us/11prayer.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin